What Doesn't Kill You
by awesomebooks
Summary: After David's suicide attempt, each member of the New Directions talks about times each of them have thought, or even attempted to kill themselves. Along the way they also learn things about each other and uncover different parts of each other's pasts.R&R
1. Chapter 1

"How the fuck have you never had peanut butter, Rory?" Santana screamed as all the members of the New Directions were gathered around in a circle on the stage in the auditorium. Mr. Shue had called mandatory meeting for all the members of the glee club.

"Mr. Shue, Usually you and I are on the same page, but I don't see how Rory trying peanut butter for the first time is cause to call us all out of class. What's the point?" Rachel inquired in her ambitious, high voice.

"The point is that he's trying a new experience right now. Just like all of you will be in the future. Now tell me, what do you see for yourselves in the future, your hopes, wants, dreams?" Each member of the club went around and told their wishes. At the end Mr. Shue stated, "Let this be a lesson, from Dave. You all have so much going for you, so much you could accomplish, so much you could do with your life. Yes, Dave was lucky he didn't kill himself, but he was so close. This is why I want to tell you guys how great of a group of people you are and that from the deepest depths of my heart I hope you never do or think about doing anything like this to yourself." It was an awkward silence for a moment or so, it was an odd and eerie feeling. Suddenly tears started to fall from some of the student's faces. "What's wrong" Mr. Shue asked Kurt directly, as he was the one having the most trouble with the silence. Kurt fumbled with his fingers for a second before trying to talk, but he couldn't. "Blaine." commanded. Blaine understood what was meant without anymore words being said; he wrapped his arms around Kurt and gently gave him a sweet peck on his temple.

"Darling, its okay, Tell us." Kurt shook his head furiously, squeaking somewhat. Rachel came over and attempted to embrace him too, but he pushed her away. Within a few seconds he was able to regain his composer. Blaine sat down beside him, arm around his waist, as Kurt looked in the eye and said flatly,

", with a respect intended, I don't think that's a feasible hope. Everyone thinks about killing themselves at some point, it's not a good thing at all, but it's true everyone does. "

"Kurt, if you-"

"No , its human nature. I'm sure everyone in this room has thought about it at some point in time. I know I have many times." Everybody's faces turned to shock, Blaine the worst the look on his face filled with sheer terror, the hurt in his eyes.

"Will you… Um… share with us, Kurt?" Rachel pleaded understandingly. Kurt swallowed hard,

"This is not an easy request, Rachel" He tried to joke. Mr. Shue began to get up, ready to dismiss the kids back to class,

"Don't worry, Kurt, it-"Mr. Shue started.

"No!" Kurt said strong and firmly, "I want to; maybe it will help everyone else in this room with something or another." He smiled. Mr. Shue looked surprised and a bit uneasy, but he Okayed Kurt's request. With a nod of Mr. Shue's head, Kurt began.

"I wasn't always the proud, self-confident, dazzling person I am today. I once was quiet, scared, nervous little boy who didn't feel comfortable in his own body. At one point I was so frightened of the kids at school, this was when the bullying started. It was like in 7th grade. Some of the kids had begun making jokes and snide comments about my sexuality." More tears began to well up in his eyes, Blaine squeezed Kurt's waist tighter.

"It's okay babe." He tried to reassure him. Kurt swallowed long and hard, not saying a thing and then started back to his story.

"I didn't know what to do. Mom was dead and how could I tell Dad? My dad, he's such a man's man. Strong and masculine, how could this guy's 13 year old son tell him he was gay? I felt that my Dad wouldn't love me, like I was a disappointment to him, just like I was a disappointment to the rest of the world. So I kept my mouth shut and bottled up my feelings inside me. I spent so many sleepless nights in bed crying, whishing and asking why I couldn't be someone else, someone who was….. Normal." Everybody's face jaw was dropped, they were stunned. Kurt was so proud of himself and who he was, they never, none of them would have ever imagined how scared, hurt and sad he once was.

"And…" Rachel prodded, seeing one of her best friends in a new way.

"And then one day," Kurt continued, "I was so sick of the torment at school, so worried about what my dad would do. So fed up with everything, I hated everyone, everything, and life in general. For me, at the time, there was no other choice and absolutely no way out unless some wizard could come and make me swap bodies with someone else. So one night, my cousin was over and he loved playing cowboys and Indians. Well I'd thought about long and hard and decided to go through with it. Dad and Aunt Wendy were downstairs talking. So I told me little cousin, he was 5 at the time, I was 14. I told him I'd be right back and to stay put. So I left the room, closing the door behind me and snuck into my dad's room. I opened the dresser drawer by Dad's bed and fumbled through his socks and underclothes. Finally, I found it. His .22 handgun. I picked it up, so sure that this was what I wanted to do. ASO sure this is what everyone wanted me to do. I put it against my head; even to this day I can still feel its, cold as ice, against me when I think of it." By this time Kurt was having great difficulty speaking and was taking several large gulps to try to stay collected.

"Kurt... I never thought…" Finn muttered under his breath, almost in a whisper. Kurt put his hand in the air and pointed at Finn,

"I am not done yet. " Then Kurt bit his lip and nodded slightly to Finn, it was like they were sharing some insane secret. "I started to cry. I realized in that moment that I didn't want to do that. I wanted to live, I wanted to have a life and grow up and meet an n amazing, wonderful handsome, great partner who makes me complete..." He smiled slightly and in a higher hushed voice, like it was a huge secret, he said, "Blaine." He patted Blaine's back and Blaine blushed to where his cheeks went deep red.

"Wait… If you died then… Are you a 3D ghost?" Brittany asked, off in her on world. Kurt laughed at this; everyone else just looked at her, just plain lost.

"Well, no Brittany. Though a 3D ghost that would be totally awesome!" Kurt tried to say as upbeat as he could. Then continued. "I had it against my heard, crying, I was scared of the unknown, of what I would be to my family, and what would Dad think? I wanted to back out, but once I start something, you know, don't back down. I regretted this choice that I was making so incredibly much, but thought it was best for everyone else on Earth. So there I was, about to release the trigger when my cousin walked through the small crack in Dad's door. I remember his voice, so pure, sweet, and innocent. _Kurty what are you doing? Why is there a cowboy gun? _He said, I was so touched. Go away Kenny, I said." The memory was flashing in Kurt's mind, making it all the more difficult for him, "Please, Kenny leave I'll…. I couldn't say anything more. I wouldn't have been right back for Kenny… Ever. But regardless of anything he left, but before he did he said in a very loud and clear voice, "I love you Kurty." Then he left." Kurt smiled at the memory. "I couldn't do it. My little cousin made me realize everything. He loved me, my dad loved me, and someday I would meet great friends like you guys and, someday I'd meet my prince, Blaine." I stopped in my tracks as realization kicked in. I remember the first thought I had when I decided to get my head on right and not do it was How stupid are you Kurt? Why would you do this to yourself?

Tears were trickling from the rest of the club's faces now. "Of course I realized tat the gun would have to go off at some point. So I rushed, gun in hand, to the other room to get Kenny. Then we went back to Dad's room and I screamed for my Dad. He rushed up o his room and was there instantly. Evidently, he was less than thrilled to see his 14 year old son and 5 year old nephew with a handgun. His words were exactly, what the fuck do you boys think you're doing? This is dangerous, give me that damn thing! I did without further hesitation and Dad made it so it didn't go off. Then he put it in his drawer and drug Kenny and me downstairs, so that he and Auntie could keep an eye on us.

"Did you ever tell him why? He must have asked!" Mercedes exclaimed.

"He asked me why we were playing with a gun that night after Aunt Wendy and Kenny left. UI lied, I told him Kenny wanted to see a real cowboy gun and I wanted to show it to him. I told him that it was stupid and that I should not have been but I did. Then I started sobbing again and Dad just held me tight. It was in that moment that I realized that Dad loved me, no matter what. I still didn't tell him about being gay, but I knew that when the time came I would be comfortable telling him and that he wouldn't treat me any different. "

"Does he still not know about your… Attempt?" Tina asked quietly.

"No, he knows. I told him sophomore year. When I told him that I am gay, I told him about the attempt too, he broke down in tears. I told him everything leading up to it and why I'd tried to do it. I told him how Kenny had stopped me, and how thankful I am for not doing because after that incident, I became who I am today, the one and only very special and wonderful, Kurt Hummel. Dad was crying, the only time I had ever seen Dad cry was when Mom died. Then he started crying then. But I was right. My Dad loves me and he doesn't care what am he will always love me. I'm so happy I didn't go through with it, and so incredibly lucky to have had Kenny. Then only thing, he died last year. He committed suicide at 9 years old. He felt unloved. I can't help but think that I could've done something. He saved my life and now he's gone." Kurt burst out in tears.

"Kurt! Oh my goodness I am so sorry!" Blaine stated, hugging him, "I wish you would've told me these things before."

"I should've. But it hurts. But that's why I told you this entire story. "Kurt glanced around at the friendly faces in front of him. " I know how it hurts. I know that it would've destroyed my dad if I'd done it. I wouldn't be here, I wouldn't know any of you, and I wouldn't have met Blaine. I'm living proof. Things always will get better. Kenny, on the other hand didn't know that. He was far too young, didn't even start life yet. He didn't know what was out there, and he can't take anything back now. So I am saying this in his honor. Do not do this, it hurts, and it kills families not just one person. No matter how worthless or unaccepted you feel, you are all beautiful and perfect, and loved. I loved Kenny, I love my dad, and I love all of you. So please, know that things do get better." He was barely able to keep his emotions from flowing now, he leaned on Blaine's shoulder and cried onto him.

"Thank you for being so rave Kurt; you are an amazing, Kurt." Mr. Shue said.

"I love you, Sweetheart." Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear.

"I'm sorry Kurt. " Finn stated flatly. "I never knew. All eyes turned to inn, all filled with question. Finn knew what they all meant. "I'm sorry Kurt."

"What are you sorry for, Finny?" Rachel asked

"I'm sorry for being so horrible. I was one of the main kids that tease Kurt in 7th grade. Gasps and shock filled the room. "I was a dumb kid, I'm sorry I never knew me…"

"It's alright, Finn. I know, and it's okay, you were a kid."

"Its wasn't okay and if I could go back in time, I would never have said anything nasty or rude to you. You're a great person, you're my brother and I love you. "Finn said hushed and nervously

"I accept your apology, Finn, and so does younger me. " He smiled at him. Finn, tear filled said,

"I was horrible to you, Kurt. But I'm going to say this right now. You weren't the only one here that has thought of doing that for certain, because I have." The shock went deeper in the room. This popular, football star athlete. Thought of killing himself? It was unbelievable. "Mr. Shue… Do you mind if I share?"

"Not at all, Finn, go for it." He said, worried, loved his kids and this was terribly horrifying for him.

"Well my story goes something like this."

A/N Okay this was an idea that came into my head on Tuesday during On My Way. What do you think? Should I continue this story and write about each kid's suicidal thoughts/ attempts? Or is it better like this as a one-shot.? Review what you thought about it and what you'd like it to become. Thanks


	2. Chapter 2

Finn

"I've always been emotionally scarred about my dad. You know, never knowing him and him dying before I was old enough to remember him." Finn began. "But I adjusted. That's how life was for me. Mom was enough, I didn't need a father." Finn took a deep breath, "At least that is what I tried to make myself believe. 7th grade was when I really started to wonder about him though. Why did all my friends have Dads and I didn't. That was the first time I thought of suicide. I wanted to meet my dad; I wanted to know why he left Mom and me so early."

"Aw, Finn, Sweetie." Rachel began, but was cut off by Finn continuing to speak.

"I didn't do anything about it though. The thought of killing myself went away and was replaced. Replaced by making life miserable for Kurt. I always felt it was wrong and every time I walked away I felt so guilty and knew it wasn't right, knew that I was making Kurt feel like how I did inside. That pain was something I wouldn't put upon my worst enemy. But for some reason, some damn terrible unknown reason I put it on Kurt, and for an even more horrible unknown reason, it made me feel better. It was like I had some sort of power that he didn't. It made me feel proud, strong, and in a way that I still haven't a clue to why, glad." He paused and looked at Kurt, and in the sternest most sincere voice he could find within himself said, "I am so sorry, Kurt. I would've never have done or said anything to you had I known what you felt like internally. "Kurt just nodded again,

"It's fine Finn. I forgive you, now let's forget about it." Finn smiled his half crooked smile,

"You're a really good man, Kurt."

"Is that the end of your story?" Rory questioned.

"No. I stopped harassing Kurt in 8th grade because, I don't know, I guess it just got old and wasn't fun anymore. I was fine for the next couple of years and thoughts about my dad only occurred once in a while, but they didn't bother me as much as they had. Then in sophomore year everything fell apart. In a quiet voice, head hanging low Finn whispered just barley audible, " I really thought I loved you, Quinn, and you broke my heart."

"Finn, I know I should've never slept with Puck, I know but-"Quinn said.

"No buts, Quinn, there is no excuse for what you did to me, but its fine, I'm over it and over you. But that was the next time I really considered suicide, but luckily those thoughts were short lived because I had Rachel waiting for me in the wings." He paused a moment to give Rachel and loving and passionate peck on the lips, as she snuggled closer to him. "But Rachel, you made me realize I had something to live for. But then, Rach, when you made out with Puck after you found out that I'd slept with Santana a year before I met you. I thought that was going to the extreme a bit and I felt betrayed. Quinn cheated on me with Puck, and then you, Rachel, cheated on me with Puck on a slightingly smaller level. But to me it doesn't matter cheating is cheating. You both broke my heart and you, Rachel." Finn let out a short, but loud scream.

"Finn, I regret making out with Puck, you know my jealousy."  
>"Yes, Rachel, I do, and I really <em>love <em>you, which is why you hurt me so much more than Quinn did. You made me actually want to be done with life. My thoughts were, both of my girlfriends had cheated on me, with the same guy. I felt as if I wasn't good enough for either of you, so why would I be good enough for any other girl? Then I really wanted to talk to a man about this. I mean yeah, after Mom and Kurt's dad got married I could've talked to him about it. But I didn't want to. It would not have been the same as talking to my real father. Once again I wanted nothing more than to meet him. "

"Finn." Quinn and Rachel murmured in unison, there was no reply, just further continuation of Finn's story.

"I too was about to carry out with suicide, I'd found one of Kurt's scarves on the floor of our room. I picked it up and wrapped it around my neck, didn't tie it or anything just left it there. I was considering my options when, Kurt walked through the door of our room." Finn laughed to himself. "I'll never forget the look of horror on Kurt's face, turning to such a huge smile as he rushed over and pulled it off of me." Kurt laughed with Finn, the two brothers remembering a moment that had brought them closer than they had ever been before.

"It looked great on you, Finn; it made your eyes really stand out and just pop." Kurt joked. "You should ware it to school sometime, or on a date with Rachel, I still have it in the closet." He smiled his kind smile,

"I think I'll pass on that. " Finn laughed back. Then became solemn and serious again as he picked up where his story had left off, "Kurt, he put it around my head as a bandana or something. Then around my waist as a belt. It turned into the two of us having a great time. We became more than step-brothers that night, we became friends. Then later that night, while we were trying to go to sleep, Kurt asked me from his bed, on the other side of our room, why I was messing with his things. It was a legitimate question too, I never used anything and his nor did he of mine. I figured there was no point in lying to him; after all at that point in time h was the only person that I _really _trusted. "Finn gently patted Rachel's hand as she leaned her head against him and wrapped a loving arm around his neck. Finn took a deep breath before continuing on, "I told Kurt, about what I was planning to do with the scarf. I remember how he got out of bed so quickly and came over to my bed. He sat there with me; on my bed for at least an hour while I explained to him why and that I didn't see a way out that I felt worthless. He just sat there, listening, then after I was done he told me that everything was going to be okay, so I believed him after all, after that night he became my best friend."

"And…." Kurt prodded knowingly,

"And they were. Everything is great. I have no hard feelings towards Quinn. Rachel and I obviously made up, I mean look at her, my beautiful fiancé. I am looking forward to going to college and starting a life and a family with Rachel and I don't know where exactly my future is going, but it's going to be great, I can tell." Rachel smiled up at Finn,

"I love you, Finny bear. I am sorry about Puck and me too."

"Its fine, Honey. I love you too." With that, Finn leaned down to kiss his petite fiancé and then got up. He walked to the other side of the circle to where Kurt was. He got down and sat in front of Kurt, he wrapped one arm around him, laying his head against him. "Thank you, Bro. I really don't think I would be who I am today without ever meeting you. Man, would I even be here? Than k you Kurt, for being my friend, for being my brother, and for ultimately basically saving my life." Finn cried on Kurt's shoulder.

"Well, I feel honored. Do you know how important you just made me feel?" Finn pulled away from his brother and friend,

"Good. You should feel important, because you are. Don't you ever doubt that." Finn smiled hen got up and walked back to his spot by Rachel.

"Well that was very touching, Finn. Thank you for sharing." said, basically repeating what he had said to Kurt.

"Finn, I'm very sorry for you and Kurt. You both had such heartfelt, beautiful and sad stories, and if doesn't mind, I'd like to tell mine." Tina said and asked softly. Mr. Shue nodded.

A/N What did you think? Please leave reviews and let me know. You have no idea how happy they make me. They let me know what I am doing right and what I need to do better on.


	3. Chapter 3

Tina

"You really have thought about this my Asian sweetheart?" Mike asked Tina in utter terror and surprise.

"Yeah." Tina nodded. She was unable to say anything else. Everyone in the group was surprised, it was true Tina did not talk much, but whenever she did it was something sweet, comforting, cute, upbeat and happy. She brought a certain ray of sunshine to wherever she was at. She didn't need words to do that, just her stunning smile.

"Please tell us." Sugar more or less demanded. Knowing that his girlfriend was very emotional and sensitive, Mike whispered in her ear,

"Don't do this if it's going to make you uncomfortable." Tina looked up at him and gave him a slight grin.

"I have to. Kurt and Finn did. I can too."

"I love you so much right now, Babe." Mike said in an alluring voice as he and Tina shared a quick romantic peck before she began to tell her memory.

"It's more than obvious that I'm very shy. I don't talk much in school and I faked a stutter for like five years to avoid talking to people." She glanced at Artie for a split-second; both of them remembering the fight they had gotten into in their freshman about how it was ignorant that she would fake a disability. But she quickly continued, "You see me in simplest terms you can, shy, weird, somewhat Goth girl, and go ahead, see me as whatever you want. But there is so much more to me than that. '

"You're wonderful." Artie interrupted, feeling a bit awkward talking to his old flame.

"Thank you." Tina said sweetly, evidently surprised. "But what you guys don't know about is my life at home. My mom and dad are so strict. My brother, he is in college to be a doctor. Mom is a useful business woman, and Dad, he's a lawyer. They don't care that I want to be a performer or anything. But the thing is, Mom and Dad, they're perfectionists. Everything has to be perfect with the. The house must be near spotless at all times; we have a strict schedule around the house. I mean, even our family time has to be scheduled in sometimes. It's really annoying. Oh, and don't even get me started on if I ever got an Asian F. I did once and it was like it was the end of the world." About this time, as other thoughts flooded her mind. She began to stammer as she spoke.

"It's alright." Mike said soothingly. She didn't say a word; she couldn't get off task now.

"At home it's like if I slip, even just the tiniest bit the world will collapse. It's so stressful and numerous times it's been as if I can't breathe because of all the standards and perfection at our home. At school I'm a misfit, at home I pretty much feel like I'm worthless most of the time. I've tried telling Mom and Dad that and all they said is, _we love you Tina, if you doubt that you're insane. _Well maybe I am crazy but I don't care. Feeling pressured at home, and not having many people to talk to in school before glee club, I didn't know who I was. So I found myself, in Goth make-up and vampire sagas and views." She let out a long sigh. "Before glee club, I didn't have the slightest notion of who I was. My time that I contemplated doing this terrible thing to myself was the summer before sophomore year. Mom had gotten on me about something and Dad was, to the point, he was telling me I was stupid and would never amount to anything. I had two A-'s, Asian f's, at the end of the year and it felt like my family was falling apart. I cannot even begin to describe the stress I felt. But it was so immense. I cried to myself all the time and early one morning I went to the bathroom and." She hung her head low, beginning to tear up, "I took a razor and started cutting my wrists and slitting pieces of skin. I couldn't believe what I was doing myself, but it was happening right in front of me. And me, though I held the enemy in my hand, there was nothing I could do to stop doing it. It was a terrible feeling, I couldn't believe I had let this depression I guess you could call it, get o out of hand that I was hurting myself over it. "

"What made you stop?" Mike asked, worried for his girlfriend's past, present and future. She smiled, her pearl white teeth gleaming.

"You did." She said blankly.

"ME?" Mike exclaimed.

"Yes. You called me when I was in the middle of doing this to remind me to be to work a half hour from then. At the time we weren't dating. But I had a major crush on you and you, calling me that made me stop. It showed that you cared about me." Mike and Tina were both in tears now. The couple shared another kiss"

"Do you parents know?" Rory asked seriously. Tina shook her head,

"No. I should tell them but they wouldn't care."

looked appalled. "You should, Tina. It might change things. "Tina smiled at ,

"You really think so? I'll try to tell them how I feel tonight!"

"That's a good idea." said. Quinn but her lip,

"Well, Tina's story was real heartwarming and all. But I just cannot get Finn's out of my head." Quinn said, in a manner that couldn't quite decide if it was nice or condescending.

"Quinn…" said, somewhat insulted.

"You all are talking about your hard times and when you've considered offing yourselves." Quinn began. "Let me talk about mine. I bet it'll blow you all away. You were all there I cannot believe you didn't notice, if we're all as close of a family as you say we are." Everyone was scared; Quinn was talking rude, like she had when she was in with the skanks. Rachel rolled her eyes,

"Here we go another drama fest." She whispered to Finn, he paid her no attention at that moment, however.

"Go ahead, begin." Mr. Shue said.

A/N OK, My Internet has been down for the last week, but now it's back and so am I! Thank you for all the good feedback, reviews, adding this to your favorites, you have no idea how great it makes me feel! I am so glad that you are all enjoying this! Review please I love reading your thoughts, Thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

Quinn

Quinn took a deep breath, preparing for the long spiel she knew she was about to give. She knew it was going to be a long, and somewhat degrading story to tell, she knew that she'd sound totally uncouth talking, but she didn't care. All the others knew what was coming too, they weren't exactly looking forward to it, but Quinn was a member of their little "family". They had listened to Kurt, Finn, and Tina tell their stories, Quinn was no different. They all silently sighed, sat up straight, and listened intently as Quinn began. "You three were talking about how you all had hard times. Yeah I can see Kurt's, he was having acceptance issues, and Finn you were brokenhearted. Tina, your parents are strict. I get it. But you know, all three of you had some hard times, difficult things to deal with, but none of you had to deal with being pregnant at age 16. That was a living-"

"Quinn!" Rachel screamed. "Kurt can't help that he's gay, its who he is. Finn can't help that he never met his father and both of us breaking his heart! We should both be at his feet begging for his forgiveness! He is such a great guy and doesn't deserve to be treated like we treated him. Yes, we're engaged, but I still feel terrible about the whole ordeal!"

"Its fine Rach." Finn stammered through her loud voice,

"Hush Hon." She cooed. Then looked right back at Quinn, "Tina has a rough home life, she didn't decide that either. Of course I am saying this with all respect intended, but you kind of chose to get pregnant." Her voice trailed off.

"I CHOSE TO GET PREGGO? I DON'T THINK SO!" Quinn exploded.

"Quinn…" Puck started.

"YOU SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP! YOU DID IT TO ME! YOU SCREWED UP MY LIFE! YOU SCREWED UP MY TEEN YEARS! DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO ME!"

"PMS" Arite sighed quietly. Thankfully, not enough to where Quinn would've heard him.

"Quinn. Either calm down or stop. Please." Mr. Shue begged as teacher-like as he could do.

"!"

"Quinn…" She took a deep breath, collected her emotions, sighed, and calmly picked up.

" Okay. So yeah you all had a very hard thing to deal with. But none of you knew or will ever know what its like to be pregnant so young. Yeah you all know that it was rough for me and that its against what everyone says. And yes…." She hesitated a moment. "It was my decision, none of you can help what you have or are. I could've, but I didn't. And I clan sit here for hours on end talking about how mean people were to me. It was so painful emotionally coming to school almost everyday for nine months, having people; even people who used to be my friends call me a whore, a slut, having people think I'm easy. The way everyone looked at me was different. I used to be pretty, popular, the head cheerleader, the girl every other girl wanted to be and the one every guy wanted to date. After the pregnancy, I was kicked out of cheer, I felt disgusting and gross, low self-esteem, no guy wanted to date me. I lost all my friends, except you guys. Thank you. But still none of you were really there for me; you sang _Lean on Me _and told me it was going to be fine to comfort me. I faked a smile at the time, and that helped a bit, but not by much. I was still alone, still being called a whore, still watching my life at the time slip away, and my future slipping away even quicker. I was so scared, I didn't know what would become of me, and more importantly, what would become of Beth. She didn't choose to come into the world while her parents were still kids themselves, and I couldn't raise her, I needed and still do an education and to get married, to get a stable job and life and settle down before I could raise a baby.

"You think this wasn't hard for me, Quinn?" Puck asked harshly.

"It probably was, but not as much as for me. You weren't the pregnant one, ad you didn't even get the credit for being the father until towards the end of my second trimester. You didn't feel Beth grow in you, you didn't get the derogatory comments, the hurtful words, the pain of pregnancy, and you didn't get any of it I did. Half the days I wished her to be gone. I never wanted and abortion, that's just murdering someone. But I was hoping for as long as I could to have a miscarriage. It never happened, and when it got to the point of knowing that this thing is going to be born I began worrying, and hoping for…. For…." Tears fell down her perfected pale face " For Beth to be… Stillborn." I felt so horrible. How could I wish this upon anyone, especially my own daughter? I felt like a terrible person. Every night during the pregnancy I would cry myself to sleep. Sometimes I'd… Punch my baby bump. I can't believe it but I was trying to end pregnancy. I knew it would hurt the kid and possibly me, but I didn't care. How could this happen to me? Why me, why not someone else, someone stronger?" I began slitting my wrists and causing myself harm subconsciously thinking. I don't even know why I don't remember doing it. I tell you there is nothing scarier than taking a bath or a nice shower, trying relax, then looking down at your hands and realizing there is a gash just leaking blood, and having a razor in your hand. Then you realize you did this to yourself, because whether you know it or not, you feel there's nothing you can do to change your life. It was in that moment that I really just broke down bawling. I wanted to die, and subconsciously I wanted to all along. It was so petrifying. "

"Quinn, my mom and I offered you a home. You could've lived with us and-" Mercedes started.

"Yes you did and I appreciate the offer. I did. But" She now was going back to her story. " I was somewhat confused you could say about if I'd keep Beth or not until the middle of my last trimester. I remember the confusion and pain I felt when my mom came to regional and my water breaking there. I remember the labor pain, it was unbearable! I felt like I was going to die right then and there. Burt when Beth came out, and I saw her for the first time, all pain went away. I realized in that instant that she wasn't the mistake I'd thought she was. She was wonderful and beautiful and giving her life is not a misfortune. I also knew, though, that I could not take care of her, which is why I am so thankful Shelby took her in and adopted her. I know Shelby is a good mom and would only do what's best for Beth. I know I've done some crazy things lately to try to get her back, but I know deep in my heart that Beth is Shelby's daughter. She was meant to be with her, not me. I also know that someday I will have children and will be able to take care of them. As far as the feeling of guilt, I mean I have some, but I mostly don't because I know I did the right thing. Puck and I gave Beth life and Shelby is going to give her a chance at it."

"Yeah, and now your life is all rosy and back to normal." Santana hissed.

"Not by a long shot!" Quinn exclaimed, insulted. "This pregnancy screwed me up. I will never be who I was before. The physicalogical effects and guilt I carried with me and still do turned me into a new person. I know I did what's best for her, but I am still; messed up. I am in therapy now and I am making progression. But I know that I never truly will be 100% who I was before I got pregnant. It made me…. I guess crazy would be the word."

" You're not crazy Quinn." Puck tried to comfort, the way he spoke was odd, sweet, romantic, the way it was during her pregnancy. "You're amazing. Quinn just nodded slightly,

"Thank you." She said solemnly, feeling a bit awkward. It was awkward; nobody seemed to really know what to say after that. Mr. Shue was just about to let the kids back to class when he heard a quiet voice,

"" Mike said in a hushed voice,

"Shoot for it, Mike."

A/N What are you thinking? Again sorry for the delay in posting this, the Internet has been out. I am really glad to be back. Hope you are all still enjoying the story. Thank you for reading. Reviews are greatly appreciated.


	5. Chapter 5

Mike

"I try so hard! So hard! Just trying to please everyone, trying to be who I am while still pleasing my dad, my family, and my home country! No body understands me! They just tell me to keep up what I'm doing that I have a very successful future ahead of me and that I'm lucky because there are so many people who wish they could be like me!" Mike exclaimed. " I'm not saying I don't realize that, I do. I mean, I have an absolutely stunning and gorgeous girlfriend who really understands me like I wish others could." Tina gave him a gentle peck on the cheek about this point. "I'm smart, I have a strong family, a wealthy family, and I've been accepted to Harvard. I've had a great life, and I do have a bright future ahead of me." Mike sighed, "But my future is not going in the direction I want it to."

"Mike, you can make your future do whatever you want." Tina stated gently.

"NO I CANT!" He exploded. " My life's been great, yeah. But all my life I've been ridden so hard to beat, be the champion, overcome anything and anyone who gets in my way pf being number one! My parents are so strict and overbearing! I mean, a couple months ago when I got an A- on that test, my dad about killed me, and I'm not exaggerating! I was a sham to him, a disgrace to the family, and an embarrassment to the Chang family tree! My dad, he's always trying to destroy my relationship with Tina, he thinks she's a bad influence on me and that she's bringing me down, when what she really is doing is helping and giving me the strength to really get to know who I _am _and not who everybody wants me to be. And what I am, my dad wouldn't want me o be in a million years, no matter what. What I am is…. Dancer. I want so badly for my dad to support me. I don't want to go to some Doctor college. I want to go to a school of dance, where I can be who I am with people who get what I like and who I am, that like me for me. Mom understood when I told her, but neither of us will ever convince Dad. My future is on a one-way train to a place I don't want to go. The only good thing in my future is that…. " His voice trailed, cheeks turning red, he was beyond embarrassed "I want to marry Tina." Tina smiled meekly,

"Oh, Mike, I do too, but I'm only a junior…"

"Don't worry, Doll" He started, "It wont be for awhile, we both still need college." Then he turned to the rest of the group " And while I am looking forward to spending the rest of my life with her, I need to have a job that I love, its not an option now days. Everyone works, a lot, and if you don't have a job you like you're just going to run yourself into a downward spiral."

"YAY!" Santana screeched sarcastically, "You have hard parents, you want to be a twinkle toed dancer. Great. You've never tried to kill or thought of doing yourself in so shut up and let someone else talk, Other Asian." Santana mocked, using the nickname Ms. Sylvester had given him a couple years ago.

"SANTANA!" Mr. Shue scolded

"What, it the truth, some of us have real stories." She hissed

"Well…" Mike said quietly…. "I wasn't done. Everyone gave a slight glance at Santana. She rolled her eyes

"Fine, finish, but when you're done how about letting someone really tell something important."

"Okay, I'll rush so you'll be happy, Santana." Mike took a deep breath. "The irony kills me here. One day, I was so overwhelmed; words couldn't even begin to describe how terrible I felt about myself. I felt useless, hopeless, like my life would always be the same thing, nothing new, and like I just said, pointless, meaningless, on the road of going somewhere I don't want to go. I was so sick of it. This was a couple years ago, Mom and Dad were out of country, visiting relattives. My little sister was at a birthday party for the night and I was home alone. It was only about noon. I went into the bathroom, and looked into the mirror. The image looking back at me scared me. It wasn't me. It was some young old man. The only light in his life was his dream, and a girl. Both things he never thought he'd get, and at that point knew he wouldn't get. He was about to do something so dishonorable. Take his life. I found Dad's old knife that the Chinese warriors had used so many years ago in battle. They had used it to do such Nobel, brave things…. I was going to bring shame on it, but I didn't care. It was my weapon of choice. I'd already wrote the note and was ready. I lifted it to my chest, about to plunge it in, when I suddenly burst into tears. No matter how hard my family was, or how unaccepted I felt. They loved me and I would bring bad taste to our name. I didn't want to do it… I couldn't think of my dad's face when he found his son lying there on the bathroom floor when he got home after the trip. What a homecoming welcoming that would be" He smiled at Tina. " I knew I couldn't do it, so somehow I mustered up the strength to put the blade on the bathroom counter and I did the only thing I knew how to do that would make me feel better, bring some sunshine into my life."

"What was that?" Sugar asked curiously

"I picked up my cell phone. And called the one person that always made me feel great about myself…. MY dear, beautiful, angel, Tina. She saved me…. From the worst thing ever. I felt that if I killed myself I'd not only bring disgrace to the family name, but I'd never get my shot with her. I didn't know until today, though, that not only did she save me, but also I saved her. It was the same day. I told I'd come get her to go to work." Tears spilled down both his and Tina's cheeks now. "It was really just an excuse to be with her. But somehow I was lucky enough to get her to be mine. I love Tina. There isn't anything I wouldn't do for her and I know that we're meant for each other; today's stories have only made me feel more in love and devoted to her. I love you Baby doll."

"I love you too mike." Tina said, tears trickling down her face.

"Well isn't this spectacular! Everyone loves everyone YAY!" Santana prodded.

"Do you have something to tell us?" Rachel demanded. Santana got quiet.

"No…." She said voice quieting down and trailing. They all knew she had quite the story, but knew she wouldn't break. So they didn't bother her about it…. Yet.

"Okay." Mr. Shue said, as cheerfully as possible. "Anyone else have something they want to say or a story to tell?"

"Yes, I do Mr. Shue." Mercedes said quietly, a tear running from her eye. Rachel leaned over and hugged her gently.

"Ok." He nodded.


	6. Chapter 6

Mercedes

"You've all had tough things you've had to deal with. Some of them you shouldn't have had to face until you were older…A lot older. Some are just normal teenage problems, that while they may be hard to cope with for the time being, will get better." Mercedes said somberly. " I, myself, have only thought about killing myself over those teenage problems… Nothing that was really a major catastrophe. My heart really goes out to you, Quinn, you've had more than your fair share of issues you shouldn't have to deal with and shouldn't of had to have for at last another 5 maybe 8 or so years."

"Thanks." Quinn said quietly, yet powerfully. Until today she hadn't really realized how much her glee family truly cared about her, and Mercedes just put the icing on the cake with that one statement.

"But, I, my story is one about rejection, about wondering who you are, and not being comfortable in your own skin." Her voice began to shake; Kurt squeezed her hand as she was sitting right beside him. Besides Blaine, she was his best friend.

"You're a dazzling superstar, 'Cedes." He soothed. Mercedes smiled slightly.

"Please, Kurt." She said, evident pain in voice.

"Cedes." He was scared now. Mercedes ignored him and began.

"I may put on an act of being comfortable with who I am and being able to love myself without a man, before the romances with Sam and Shane. But I never really was. It was a cover, to hide my true feelings. I've never been too comfortable with myself. Being African American its hard, everyone says that segregation and prejudice stopped after the Civil Rights movement. It didn't. Yeah, blacks and whites can go to the same school, and places don't treat people differently because of their race, but there are still people. People who think they're superior to me. My grandparents lived during the Civil rights movement. They saw the hate people carry in their hearts. My grandma, she's the nicest lady you'll ever meet, was destroyed by hate. She and my grandpa lived in Alabama during that time. Well, my grandpa was a good friend with Dr. Martin Luther King Jr." Gasps filled the room, everyone was shocked, even said something,

"Mercedes, that's amazing!"

"No. During one of Dr. King's speeches, my grandpa was killed. He went to support his friend who was standing up for something to better the lives of people, and was killed by a man who's heart was filled with hate of my grandfather simply because he was black. Grandma never forgave that man, and she never will. She is the greatest woman I've ever met, but she can't forgive this one thing. It left her with an empty hole. She never remarried and raised 5 kids on her own. She's a strong woman, but a hurt one. I carry on my granddad's legacy, by being strong, and comfortable, confident, and having such great determination. But still, knowing my roots, I just sometimes wish I was white, wish I didn't have to be so tense and judgmental about people due to what they've done to my people in the past."

"Is that your suicidal story?" Quinn asked, somewhat insulted," Your skin color?"

"NO! THAT'S NOT IT!" Mercedes exploded, pain fulfilling her. "Its just part of a larger puzzle. She sighed, calmed down and started up again, "Also, I can't remember a time I was…. Skinny. All I've wanted my whole life was to be petite and perfect, like Beyonce, that's why I admire her so much. I've always loved her, my mom used to call me the younger Beyonce, I've always, lived in her shadow sort of. She's beautiful, and has a good heart, a simply wonderful, amazing singing voice, and she's skinny. I'm not. I've got a good singing voice, but I'm not beautiful, and I've never been skinny. I cannot remember a time when I wasn't chucky."

"Shut up, Mercedes! You're gorgeous!" Kurt exclaimed, as the others just listened to her continue, listening intently. Again, she ignored Kurt's comment and continued.

" I've always wanted to go to the beach in a little, somewhat skimpy, bikini with a size 2 body. I've wanted to ware long beautiful dresses, have the guys all over me, I wish that at my wedding my husband will sweep me off my feet and carry me to the limo, I want to have a long healthy life, free of health problems due to being overweight. I hope that I can watch my future kids grow up, and do things with them, not be the mom who sits at the sidelines that cant do anything with her kids because she just cant. I want to be a star, not famous, but a star to my future family, and myself. Right now, I'm not, and it's hard to believe that I ever will be." She started to cry, breaking her semi rough exterior, "That's all. I just want to be perfect to someone!"

"Then try no more, you're…."  
>"Shut up Kurt! You're my best friend…" She hesitated… "But you almost killed me!" Everyone was stunned, and Kurt hurt and worried beyond belief.<p>

"WHAT? HOW!" He screamed.

"Sophomore year." She began. " Glee had just started, it was just you, me, Rachel, Artie, and Tina in it. We'd made great friends and had gone out for coffee twice and I thought…." Kurt winced at the memory flooding back to him. He had hurt her so bad.

"Mercedes, I'm sorry, I-"

"And I had completely fallen deeply and madly in love with you! You are kind, sweet, smart, caring, easy to relate to and to understand, and you didn't care that I was black… Or heavier than some other girls, you liked me for who I was. You were everything I had hoped for in a guy. Then you broke my heart. I thought you like liked me, more than a friend. I asked you if we could make it official, because I guess I thought we were dating, and then you told me that you liked someone else. My heart shattered that very moment. I felt terrible, the one guy that really got me, the one guy that made me feel like I was in love, just had in my mind at the time, played me, strung me along to make me believe he was interested, then crushed and stomped all over my heart to make me die inside and feel as if I never would love again!"

"Mercedes, I was gay!" Kurt stated, blankly. Blaine, a little off topic jokingly screamed

"WAS? WHAT ARE YOU NOW?" The group members all gave a slight laugh, as Kurt patted Blaine on the shoulder and pecked his neck.

"Gay and in love. " He responded in a silly manner.

"Then you lied to me," Mercedes said, all the pain she had felt at the moment flooding back into her now.

"How did I lie to you?" He asked, serious again.

"You told me you liked me as a friend and that you were in love with someone else."

"I thought I was…"

"You told me you loved Rachel! You didn't tell me you were gay, you broke me inside. I felt like I wasn't good enough for you. Then I wondered, if I wasn't good enough for you, who was I good enough for? I just I wish you would've told me so I wouldn't do what I did next." They all knew, by the way the others had said this that this was the time that Mercedes would talk about one of her darkest hours…. The moment that she was going to end it all.

"Continue please." Rory begged.

" I went home. My parents are divorced and my dad lives out of town… But he's nothing but a drunk. Mom was taking my brother to college, so I was home alone. I was so down on myself, felt worthless, useless, I was fat, black, and had already been killed inside so why not just make it true and officially be dead? I went to my brother's room. He had a bunch of rope for some unknown reason. I had a closet. I took the rope to my room; I sat down on my bed and wrote a letter to my mom and my grandma, saying how sorry I was. They are such brave women and I am such a coward. That was basically the gist of it. I put it on my bed; I knew she'd see it there. Then I tied the rope around my neck. I had decided not to hide; I'd let my body be there. She didn't need to hunt for her dead daughter's body when she got home. It would already be hard enough. I had that rope so tight around my neck, I was about to pull, make it final and seal my fate, when I heard my phone go off. I pulled it out of my pocket, just kind of curious of whom it was… Who would be the last person that would try to make contact with me? It was Kurt. I answered and he asked me to come to his house, he wanted to talk to me." She smiled at him, who was in even more tears than she was. "I put the rope down and went to his house. He may have broken my heart, but being with him, as a friend one last time would make my life complete, I guess.

There, he told me he was gay, and that if he wasn't he would've been my boyfriend in a heartbeat. Just hearing him say that, made me all better. It wasn't that I wasn't good enough…. I wasn't what he wanted in a partner was it. And nothing could've changed that. I remember breaking down in tears, right there, I honestly believe that if he hadn't made that call hat night, I don't think I would've been here today." Tears fell from her face lightly, and a faint smile emerged on her face. She squeezed Kurt's hand tight again, turning her head slightly to look him in the eyes. "Thank you, Kurt. You saved me." Tears were literally just pouring from his eyes,

"Saved you? I nearly killed you!" He exclaimed, insulted slightly, and hurt.

"But you also-" He cut her off mid-sentence.

"I am so sorry, Mercedes. I never thought that you'd think of me like that. Oh my gosh, I feel so terrible." He took her other hand lightly. " I am so sorry."

"It's okay. You taught me heartache, made me feel like my world had ended, then saved me from myself all in one night. You taught me that I would find somebody eventually, and I found romance. It all faltered, but thanks to you, I know that I'll find a real love someday. So thank you." They smiled at each other. Kurt grabbed her and forced into a tight embrace.

"I love you so much in a non-heterosexual way." She laughed, still being in Kurt's arms was one of her favorite places to be.

"I love you too." She laughed.

"Excuse me?" Blaine joked.

"Oh get in here!" Kurt exclaimed, grabbing Blaine and bringing him into the hug. Everyone in the club had tears in their eyes now. Mercedes story had really touched all of them, even Santana. Thought she'd never admit to it. Mr. Shue wiped a slight tear from his eyes. "Anyone else?" He managed to ask.

"Yes." Sam barley managed to say, he was hurt so bad. With that, now famous, Shue nod, he began.

Today was gonna be the day  
>He´d already wrote the note<br>And parked that Chevrolet  
>At the end of that dead end road<br>Had his finger on the trigger; just about to end everything  
>He was taking one last long breathe; when he heard his cell phone ring<p>

And his best friends say man where you been?  
>We´re headed down to the lake this weekend<br>You better not miss it ´cause buddy I swear  
>It won´t be the same If you aint there<br>And i told that girl that you like so much  
>You were coming along and her eyes lit up<br>I better let you go man i really hope i didnt catch you in the middle of anything  
>He said you kinda did but i don´t mind at all<br>I´m glad you called ~ The Call by Matt Kennon ( This song reminds me of this chapter. It's a beautiful song and everytime I hear it I cry.)

A/N I am so sorry! I know I haven't been writing too regularly, but I promise to have this finished by April 10th when Glee comes back on. I've been so busy lately. I really did enjoy writing this chapter. What di you guys think? Review and let me know please.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam

"I had led a very happy great childhood. At my other school, I was in a middle class family, fairly popular, had good friends. I was outside almost all day everyday, and my future seemed very promising. Then Dad had to switch jobs and we moved from Nashville, Tennessee up here to Lima, Ohio. Everything changed then."

"What are you talking about? You're still at least somewhat popular and have friends… Yea-" Quinn retorted. Sam rolled his eyes, at one time he would've laughed and dotted on her every need hand and foot. But now, he found her annoying and catty. He gave her no response.

"Then we moved here, because my dad was offered a better job. It was great,. And for a while, we were really doing well. Our financial problems were looking up, I came here, joined the football, became quarterback after Finn dropped out, I made acquaintances with the guys on the team. But I made real, true friends with all of you, had what I thought was a burring passionate relationship with Quinn. I thought life had turned around for the Evans and that we'd all live happily ever after." He took a long breath and sighed. "But then everything went downhill again. My dad lost his job again, we hit poverty level, got kicked out of our house, had to move into the cheapest hotel we could find and rent rooms for weeks on end just to have a house. There were 5 of us living in a hotel room, it was so cramped, but through it all, I kept my mouth shut because… Well…." He trailed off. Tina brought him back.

"You what?"

"I thought that my image would change. I thought you all would think of me differently. Like I wasn't as good as you, you'd think all I was is some teenage bum, that wouldn't have a chance at doing anything worthwhile in life. You might not know this, but I had massive swings of depression. They were terrible! I was never good enough, I was a loser, my family were all losers, we couldn't support ourselves barley, we didn't have a stable home, and we were basically running from collection agencies. The only good thing in my life was my gorgeous girlfriend, Quinn." Quinn blushed; she hadn't heard anyone talk about her like that in such a long time. "But then you cheated on me to go back to your old boyfriend, whom you also cheated on. To make matters worse, you didn't just cheat, you lied about cheating, making it sound like you were doing something heroic. That's what stung the most. You didn't care for me enough to tell me the truth."

"Sam, I'm sorry."

"No, you're not, Quinn. You've had two boyfriends, both you have cheated on and both you lied to so that you wouldn't be seem like the nasty, catty slut that you are!"

"SAM!" Everybody screamed, they never expected this from him.  
>"Sam!" Mr. Shue exclaimed, "I am sorry, but that is unacceptable behavior. Go to Principal Figgen's office now!" Quinn got up, walked across the small circle, and slapped Sam in the face.<p>

" And you were nothing but a stupid, vain, asshole!"

"QUINN!" They all exclaimed, the same way they had Sam. Mr. Shue was fed up with this now,

"OK! Quinn go to the office now!"

"With pleasure, I finally got to say my mind." She turned and stormed out the auditorium doors, down to Figgen's office.

"Sam, you too!" Shue commanded.

"Wait, Mr. Shue, I understand what I said is uncalled for and I shouldn't have said-"

"Sam go, your words cannot be taken back."

"I know, ad I feel ad about it. I will gladly go to the principal and pay the consequences for my choice. However, may I please finish up first?" Mr. Shue bit his lip, he knew the right thing to do as a teacher would be to make him go now, but he didn't have the heart to tell him no.

"Sam, make it quick. I shouldn't let you, but I will, so hurry up, finish, and then go to Figgen's immediately after." Sam gave a slight nod.

"Thank you Mr. Shue." He caught his breath and continued, " When Quinn broke it off, and my world had ended. She was the one good, pure, beautiful thing in my life. She had then pretty much just crumbled my world. Then we got evicted from all f our hotels we were staying at, my grades started slipping from the depression, Mom started turning to alcohol, the bills kept piling up and getting more abundant, rumors about us were flying around town, we were the black sheep of the town. I couldn't put up with it anymore. So, on one night, Mom, who had sobered up, Dad, and my brother were at my sister's play. I had told them I'd meet them there…. But I didn't plan to, I was going to kill myself. No getting around. That was to be my last night here. It would stop my never-ending heartache, and would take me out of this misery I felt. So I walked downtown to a little lake I knew of deep in the wood that were outside our hotel. This lake, though remote, was quite deep."

"Sammy…" Mercedes almost pleaded, tear-filled eyes. Her mouth hung wide open; she couldn't believe the word that had just come out of her mouth. She had only called him that when they were dating. Sam's eyes widened, he couldn't believe it, and he felt so great. But he didn't say a word to her; he'd save that until later.

"I love the water, so I figured, though somewhat slow, its how I wanted to do this. I stood at the edge of the lake. Ready. I was crying, I'd had so many great times back here with Quinn and my siblings. It was beautiful scenery. Bright green leaves in tress, and lush grasses surrounded it, the lake was sparkling and blue. It was magnificent. I took my phone out of my pocket and set it on the ground. I didn't want to be electrocuted. I wouldn't die like that. I sighed, and dove in, it felt so weird not to plug my nose. The water was freezing this day. It felt like a thousand knives were stabbing me in every square inch of my body. I understand that one line of Leo Diacaprio's in Titanic now. And I feel sorry for those who actually did experience it. I could barley breath; the water was flooding my nose and mouth. Water was leaking into my squinted eyes, it burned like crazy. I could hardly breath. I kept hearing the rapidly increasing sound of my heart…. _BUM BUM BUM. _The sound intensified. Then somehow, from above the water I heard the faint sound of Jason Aldean's "Why" play. I realized it was my phone; I needed to see who it was. What if it was Mom or Dad? Who wanted to talk? But of course I realized I was dying, that I probably wouldn't be able to get to it. But I tried anyways. And I am so thankful I did."

" Who was it?" Rory asked, his thick Irish accent heavily drawing the question out. Sam didn't directly answer the question right then.

"I fought anyway. I swam to the top of the lake and clutched the side of Earth fro Dear Life. I climbed up onto the grass, and felt around for my old flannel jacket. I found it, and wiped my eyes off, getting the water out of them. I couldn't believe I was alive, I basically puked up oh maybe 3 gallons of lake water." He joked. "Its amazing that I didn't need any medical help or hospital service to drain the water from me. I kept breathing hard, and grabbed my phone. It was a text message from Mercedes." HE smiled at her, and she back at him. She felt honored. She had saved someone's life, how could she do that? She had been his hero. "It said _where are you? I'm here waiting." _Then I remembered, it was junior prom. _Oh shit! _I thought. As down as I was and as hopeless as everything seemed, I had a huge crush on Mercedes. I thought, originally, that she was just using me to say she had a date to the prom. But that message. IT made me think that she generally cared about me. _Be there soon, kind of hit a delay. _I texted back. I rushed inside, took the fastest showed I've ever taken in my life, put on a nice suit that my dad had in his drawer from Mom and his wedding. And rushed to the school. At school, the dance was amazing, I was with the girl I really liked and I knew she liked me too. It was the beginning of a great fling romance that ended somewhat bitterly with the whole Shane thing. But I felt great myself because e of the imprint she left on my life. Even when we moved back to Tennessee, I knew I'd be here again, and be with Mercedes again." He glanced at her, with big blue, alluring eyes.

"But I did a horrible thing to you, by cheating." Mercedes whispered under her breath, just audible enough that people could hear her.

"I forgive you."

"How can you?" Sam smiled, and went Across the circle, squatting down to get eye level with her, he took her face in his hand, and taking her hand with his other, he looked her directly in the eye.

"Mercedes Giselle Jones, I love you. You broke my heart, and I forgave you the moment you did. When I moved away, I thought of you all the time. While you were with Shane, I was happy, because you were happy. And now that you're not, I need you to know that I truly love you, and I'd be honored if you'd be my girlfriend again. What do you say, Darling?" Mercedes smiled, she couldn't believe he was asking her to take him back. Even when she was with Shane, who she really wanted was Sam.

"OF COURSE SAMMY!" She exclaimed, launching herself towards him, and embracing him with a tight grip. He welcomed her in her arms, and both of them were beyond thrilled. Through all they had done and said, they loved each other and only wanted each other. Sam met her lips in a gentle kiss; this was where they belonged, with each other. When they tore apart, Sam looked at Mr. Shue.

"I'm sorry Sam. But you still need to go to Figgen's."

"I know." He nodded, hugged his girlfriend one more time, and graciously walked out the door, Mercedes, wishing she could go with him.

"Any-" He didn't even need to finish the sentence. They all knew what was going to come from Mr. Shue's mouth before he even said it.

"YES"

A/N Ok… This is the end of this chapter. I know I said I was going to do Rachel next. But I am so stumped for reasons why with her and I really need to think about it. I don't usually ask this, because I feel like its somewhat plagiarizing, but do you guys have any reasons in particular you'd like for Rachel to try to take her own life. Please review and let me know some of your ideas so that I can do hers next, like I said I would. I will keep thinking also. But if I can't think of any by the next time I write I think I'll do either Brittany or Rory's. Please review, tell me what you liked and ideas for Rachel Thanks you.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N I was going to mention this before, But didn't. Thank you to for helping me out with Mercedes' story. Also thanks to Santitaomily, you had a great idea. However, I am not going to use it. I am going to use ideas that I and a friend of mine had. Without further ado,

Rachel

Everyone gawked in amazement and fright, out of everyone in the club, she was the one none of them would have ever thought in a million years would want to kill herself. She was so bright, confident, an overachiever, felt she was superior to other people, how could _she_ think of doing this?

"Rach, Baby,"

"Shut up, Finn." This added to everyone's shock. She never spoke to him like that. She dotted on him and worshiped the very ground he walked on.

Rachel took a long, deep sigh, she was about to reveal her deepest secret, from one of her darkest hours. This was going to make her image drop drastically to everyone, she thought. Hesitantly, she began.

"This is probably going to be hard for you all to believe. After all, I'm obviously very proud of who I am and am fully aware of the talent that I possess. As well as the path of greatness I am destined for that will come with it. However" She breathed deeply before continuing, "I've had trouble just like all of you. And, I'm sad to say that it has come to the point of where I have nearly destroyed all of that. But there is a log story that goes with it."

"Please, continue." Blaine practically begged, and she started her own story.

"It was probably the end of freshman year, or the beginning of sophomore. I had a HUGE crush, on my now fiancé. I figured he would never notice me though, so that sense, like what Mercedes was talking about, about not being good enough was there. But, I would never consider taking myself over a guy. There were a lot of other things building up inside me."

"Like what?" Sugar asked in a condescending mannerism.

" My grandmother had just recently died, she was my best friend. I loved her. She was the one who started my love of singing; she is who set me on the road to fame. She made me try out for a play at the local theater downtown when I was 3. I stole the lead. I had very good speech, vocabulary, and pronunciation for my age. I stayed at her house like every other weekend from the time I was 2 to right up to the weekend before she died. Like I said, she was my best friend. I had no one else. At her service, my dads had to practically hold me back, I don't remember, it was all a blur, I felt that part of myself died with her, and I didn't know how I could possibly go on without her. I guess I tried to jump into the burial site with her. I couldn't imagine going on without her."

"Is that why… Just because someone close to you died?" Artie asked, curiosity and sympathy in his voice. Rachel calmly stated,

"Not the only one. Also, and this will sound really snobby, but here it is. Also, because I couldn't get any roles in plays and I wasn't winning any of my singing competitions. I know it's very minor, but, its my life. Oh, and then there was a short period of time where I couldn't sing because I had a cold. It seemed to drag on and on. My voice was all raspy. A combination of all these, as well as being a loser at school. It was rough, I didn't have any friends, no one cared about me there was noting. Another thing, I had never met Shelby before. It's hard, being an adolescent girl, who has never met her mom. I love my dads, but do you know how awkward it is for a 12-year-old girl to tell her dad that she started her period, or all the sex talks coming from men. Its strange. I just needed a woman, my mom, and I never met her until I was like 16. No girl, under any circumstances should ever be without a female role model that is her mom, or can act as one." Kurt grunted, displeased, Rachel knew what he meant.

"Kurt, when you and Blaine have kids, I want to be their mother figure." Both of them nodded and that conversation was over.

"Then there was Finn. He has been the only boy I've ever had eyes for. Sure I dated Jesse for a while, but only to make Finn jealous, and I dated Puck too, for that same reason and really, I felt I didn't have any choices. I'm a nasty person, I'd take anyone."

"Dear, you're amazing! Don't ever say anything less of yourself." Finn exclaimed.

"Thanks." They shared a quick kiss, and then she picked up where she had left off. " I loved Finn. I didn't care when people said we were too young, or that it was just puppy love, or a crush, I day dreamt about our wedding nearly everyday, I would draw pictures of us, songs that I would sing would e all romantic and I'd dedicate them to him in my mind. I'd talk to him before bed in my mind. In my head, we'd already dated, been engaged, got married, I was on my way to winning Grammy's and Tony's. He was a football star. In my mind, we'd already lived life with each other. So when we actually started dating. I felt my world complete. And yes, we've been through some rough times, but that's what made us strong. And its how you handle hardships that will make the outcome of your relationship. I am so proud to be _actually _engaged to this wonderful guy. Yet I cant help but wonder what my life would be like without him, or vise versa…. What would his life be if I had killed myself?

"You didn't have an attempt?" Rory asked, suspiciously. Rachel sighed, she had hoped to keep this under cover, but she couldn't lie, not to her friends.

"Yes, I did." This stunned everyone, she had told her story pretty quick and had skipped, what others felt was the most heartbreaking, interesting part.

"Tell us." Puck prodded. Reluctantly, Rachel proceeded,

"Ok, I skipped this part, because honestly, I didn't want to tell you all. But I will. So after my grandmother died, it was tough, then losing in the talent competitions, I didn't even come in the top five. The plays, I dint even get roles. And so, the pain in my heart from losing grandma, the loss of wins in the talent area, and the fear that I'd never sing again after the cold. Everything was too great to bear. Especially Grandma. My dads had been out grocery shopping, I was alone. I was 15 at the time. I wanted to be with Grandma, and was fed up with life. So I did the unthinkable, stupid, scary thing I'd ever done. I grabbed a pink; sparkly pink scarf with golden starts all over it from my closet. I then sat down at my computer. I wrote a note to my dads and to the world saying how terribly sorry I was to let them all down. I then sat down on my bed, put the note in my lap, put the belt around my neck, and kept tightening it. I was at the moment where it would've been one more pull and I'd be dead. I cried, evidently,. And paused for a moment I was really going to do it. I couldn't believe it myself. I was so ashamed. But then the most miraculous thing that could've happened at the time happened. My radio was on and from the faint sound of the radio in the background I heard this" She opened her mouth and began to sing quietly, "I won't be the one to let go Life gets tough Roads get rough." She smiles "It was Barbara's song "I Won't Be The One To Let Go." It made me think. I immediately took the belt off. No matter how hard life was. I would hit fame, I would find a man that loved me. I would not be the weak one, I will never be the one to let go so easily." Rachel nodded, slightly teary. Finn embraced her around the waist and she tried to let out a slight laugh as she said "The end"

"Ok…?"

"Yes Mr. Shue." Rory muttered.

A/N Ok, this chapter wasn't as good as it should've been. But I had to get through it. Thanks for reading. Thank you for all you reviews, and comments about this story. It really does make my day when you leave one, so keep it up, please. Also, I'm going to ask this question, Brittany's story is going to be coming pretty soon. So I was wondering, should either:

A: Have her story be serious (Which is kind of taking away from her character)

B: Have he story be kind of silly (Somewhat taking away from that chapter's meaning.) Or

C: Have something happen to where she gets pulled out and can't tell her story, kind of like Sam and Quinn.

Thanks and PLEASE let me know on this one. Thank you.


	9. Chapter 9

Rory

"I know I'm new here. And you don't know me as well as you do with others. But regardless, I consider you my friends. Friends for life. So I can tell you things, all of you, that I wouldn't tell most other people." Rory declared, his accent heavily drawing out each of the words. " I know I'm younger than you all, I just turned 16 after all. But I came to America for a reason. A reason more than what I've been saying. Yes, America is where I've always wanted to live; it's the land of plenty and where dreams come true. But that's not the only reason why. I had to leave Ireland. I _had _to, had I stayed any longer there, I don't think I'd have made it to today."

"What happened over there?" Artie asked,

"Danger, scared, hate. Those three words described me over there perfectly. I was always in danger, always scared, and hated most everything in my life."

" But you're here." Brittany said, dazed,

"Yes, Sweet Brittany I am. And proud to be." He shook off this talk with Brit and proceeded to tell of his life back home and his story. "My family is amazing. My mom and dad are together unlike many couples now days. My little sister and I were best friends. We were a fairly wealthy family, and I had everything going for me. The good family life, I'm smart and made good grades, and my future looked very promising. My mom and dad, they didn't think there was any problem whatsoever. But what they didn't know was how tormented at school I was, how worthless I was made to feel. I dreaded going to school, each day I woke up and trembled in fear and terror from the time I woke in the morning to the time I got back home in the afternoon."

"Why was school so absolutely horrendous for you?" Sugar asked,

"I had no friends, you think I'm an outcast here, you should've been there."

"You're not an outcast, Rory, you have us." Rachel replied.

"Yes I do, and am very thankful. I love you all so much. But at my old school in Ireland, I was also unmercifully bullied."

"Lots of kids get bullied." Artie stated.

"Yes they do, and that's one thing schools in both Ireland and America need to work on. They preach how their school is bully free…. Its not. There is always some kid getting bullied and it's not right. All kids deserve to get an education without being frightened for their life.

"What do you mean? Frightened for their life? Isn't that a bit extreme?" Finn asked.

"Not at all!" Kurt exclaimed. "Please, Rory, continue." Rory didn't need to be told twice,

"Everyday, there was this group of jocks. Their names were Ryan, Brice, Dallas, and Ralph. Every single day, it never failed, they would find me, and beat me. I was their number 1 target. They didn't like me because once, I stood up for another kid they were beating. They forgot about him…. But I became their new victim. Everyday, right in front of the school in the morning, they'd throw me in the dumpster or give me a swirl in the bathroom. Then after school, also everyday, they'd gather around and literally beat me up. I had no defense against them. I literally had no friends and I'm a small guy. They were all like between 6'4 and 6'6. And they all outweighed me by a least 50 to 100 pounds. I wouldn't stand a chance alone. So I did what everyone tells you to do, I told the counselor. What did she do? She told them to stop it, and what did it do for me? It certainly didn't make things better. It made things worse. Way worse. Yes, they knocked it off for about a week. I thought things were great and I wouldn't have to worry anymore. But about a week after the counselor had the talk with them, they gave me the worse beating I'd ever had in my life! Many, many times I'd came home with a bloody nose, or bruises on me, crying when mom or dad asked me where they'd come from I'd simply say that I didn't know, or that I'd done something during school and did it to myself by accident. I thought they always believed me… But I now know that they probably did. Anyhow, one day, last year things got way too much. I couldn't go to school. Depression overwhelmed me from going to school, I'd learned to mock my father's voice and I'd constantly call in sick to avoid those guys. Needless to say, I had to go on some days, and those days thee beatings were TERRIBLE! So bad, I'd feel like I was going to die afterwards. One day, they beat me so bad, blood was all over my body, bruises too, and one of the guys had pulled a switchblade on me. He'd cut a huge chunk of my arm." He rolled up the sleeve of his shirt, revealing about a 6-inch long scar. It was healed over now, but still not too pretty of a sight, and still was bright red at the edges.

"Oh my God, Rory!" They all exclaimed.

" I crawled myself home, I was unable to get to my feet. It was a five-mile walk, but crawling, it seemed like forever. When I got home, my mom and dad were still at work, and my sister still at school. I got to the couch and lay down. I couldn't put up with it any longer. No longer would I be their punching bag. They had one goal…. To kill me. I knew they would eventually, too. There was no way I'd give them that satisfaction. I was done. I wouldn't die because they killed me by beatings, I'd die because I choose to. I looked at the window. _I'm sorry. _I said, as I undid my belt. I took it off, and weakly fastened it around my neck. With all the strength I had within me, I tightened it, to the tightest I could. That's the last thing I remember, before everything went black."

"What happened? How are you still alive today?" Blaine asked.

"I don't know. The next thing I know, I open my eyes. I'm in a hospital bed in a hospital nightgown. I have bandages all over me, and an ice pack on my head. Mom is holding my hand crying, and Dad is sitting right next her with my sister on his lap, trying to comfort mom. A nurse is standing above me, injecting an IV of blood. _Rory, oh Baby, thank God you're alright! _Mom exclaimed, crying and embracing me after the nurse left. _What in the world happened to you? _Dad exclaimed. My dad's the kind of guy that when he asks something that serious, you better answer immediately. _ Them. _I muttered. Dad went on to ask who they were and I told him, I told him how they'd tortured me from the time I was 13 to then, I was 15. When he asked me how the belt ended up around my neck I lied. I told him that they'd taken it off of me and put it around my neck. Dad believed me, I felt horrible for lying. But there was no way I was going to tell him I was that weak. That instead of facing them like I man I was going to give in and end it all, thus giving them the satisfaction. I had a three-week recovery, and after that there were still some bruises. But overall I was fine. However, Mom and Dad said that they couldn't keep me here. Ireland, at least where we were was too dangerous for me. They couldn't keep me in a school where some bullies had nearly taken my life. After much talk and debate we all decided it would be best for me to come here to America. It was where I'd always wanted to live, anyway. So they bought me a plane ticket, called Brittany's parents, my mom and her mom were best friends in school and have remained so their whole life, her mom agreed to let me live with them, I came here, and now I'm at a good school with great friends and I'm not scared anymore. My future once again looks bright. So thank you to you all, for making me feel important after feeling so terrible back home.

"We love you, Rory." They all said at on once.

"I love you all too."

"Anyone else?" Mr. Shue asked.

"Yes."

A/N Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Thanks for answering the questions on Brit; I'll write that chapter soon. Hope you're all enjoying reading this as much as I am writing it. Review please, it makes my day and makes me want to keep pusing through writer's block. Thanks


	10. Chapter 10

Sugar

"I know what you're all probably thinking, poor little rich girl, she doesn't know anything about pain, hurt, she has everything, and is just going to tell this story of how she almost took her own life to get attention." Sugar sated harshly, "However I know who I am and I'm not everything I appear to be. I have emotions, and can feel I sympathize with people, and I've had a hard time this past year. So incredibly hard that I did try to take the most important, valuable gift I've ever been given, my life."

"Sugar, just for the record, we know that you're a person… With emotion. " Mike said flatly.

"No you don't. You think you do, but that's just what you want to think. You don't know my family life. So let me tell it to you. My mom left my daddy two months after I was born. She didn't ever file court to get custody of me, she's never even made an attempt to track me down or get to know me. I've been pretty much single handedly raised by my dad, you're not the only one, Miss Berry."

"I never said-"

"Shut up. You wanted people to feel sorry for you, by not having any female mother figure, according to your story. So don't say a word."

"Fine. I'm sorry just continue already." Rachel said scornfully.

"Anyway, unlike Berry, I haven't had my dad bending over backwards to spend time with me. Yeah, I have the nicest car, the latest fashions, the most high- tech gadgets, lots of money, and everything. I seem to have everything a teenage girl should want. But I lack what I desire most. Attention from my dad. He's always working, and never has time for me. Even when we're supposedly spending 'quality time' with each other, we're not, and it really sucks. When we're on a car ride, he's always on the phone, watching TV, he's on the phone or laptop. When I was in sports, during every competition I'd look up in the stands and he'd be on that damn phone! It didn't matter what it was, soccer, cheer, softball, dance, whatever that phone was connected to his ear. Every important holiday, Christmas, Easter, Thanksgiving, my birthday, his birthday, everything that fucking phone and his business won over me! It sounds super catty and snobby, but why am I not as important to him as that phone is. I understand, he's on business calls, its his work, but ALL THE TIME, come on. There's no need for it to be that constant! He can have a little bit of time each day for me! I mean he has time for fricken Claire!"

"Who's Claire?" Rory asked.

"My dad's damn fiancé!" She screamed "And you know, yeah I would be jealous of any woman that he was going to marry. He's my dad and he's the only family I have. I don't want to share him, even if we don't have the kind of relationship I'd prefer! But Claire… She's 20! SHE COULD BE MY SISTER! AND HE'S MARRYING HER! Every night, I'll walk downstairs, and they'll be having a make-out session on the couch. Dad thinks I go to sleep early, I tell him I do. You know beauty sleep. But I don't. I cry in bed and surf the Internet on my Iphone. But then I walk downstairs, because eI wonder… IS he on the phone after I go upstairs for the night? And each night it breaks my heart to see him and that tramp on the couch practically making love half the time. Why does dad have enough time for her and not me?"

"Sugar, your dad loves you." Mr. Shue stated.

"Of course he loves me! I don't deny that. But I would wish him to show it a little more. With his attentions, not material things. Money can't buy love. If he'd show it a little more, just a fraction of the time he spends with Claire, who is like 30 years younger than him and could be his daughter. Why can't he spend a little tiny bit of that time with his daughter? If he had… Maybe I wouldn't have done that last week."

"LAST WEEK!" Everyone exclaimed. They knew, from the way everyone else had presented theirs that this was where Sugar would talk of taking her life. But last week? How could they all have missed her signs, could any of the, given they just step in a little bit have changed her from doing that. After all, they were the closest thing to _family _she had.

"Yes, last week. Last Friday night. I decided I'd had enough. My dad obviously doesn't care for me the way he does Claire. He can't even get away from work when I'm around. I'm sure he wouldn't care, or even hardly notice if I was just erased form the planet. So I did what I felt was right. Please, I know I'm 17 and all and I'm about to go out in the world, I should've known better. Yes, I know. You don't have to tell me that. But, anyways, Dad and Claire were out last Friday night, I was alone, and so sick of being last on his list of priorities. So, Dad and I, we live in an amazing apartment. The closest thing to a penthouse you can get in Ohio. Also I have a walk out door that goes onto our balcony from my room. I wasn't going to hang myself…. That would be way too painful. And what if it didn't work. It would be too much for me to handle. I was simply just going to jump off the balcony. Its 7 stories high so the fall onto a cement walkway below would way more than likely kill me without there being to much pain for me to endure during, once I hit the pavement I'd probably be dead. So I went out on the balcony, it was after dusk, so no one could really see me, I climbed over the rail and stood there for a while, about ten minutes. I was thinking of my life. Good times, bad times, and remembering all that had gotten me to this point of having no way out of what seemed to everyone else to be the perfect life for a teenage girl. I took a deep breath, about to undo the tangled mess of my hands and fingers to jump off, when suddenly my phone vibrated. Carefully, I reached inside my pocket and fished out my phone. It was Dad. A text message from him, _Hey Sugar pie, I'm taking Claire home now, when I get home we should do something together. Have bonding time. _I rolled my eyes at the message.

_Will you be on your phone the whole time? _I asked, condescendingly in my mind.

_No, Sweetie, I promise. _He responded.I didn't believe him, but I kind of wanted to see if he was telling the truth. I decided to give him one more chance, after all I love him./ He's my dad and nothing he does can ever change that. I had it made up that if he went on his phone even once that night, I'd follow through and kill myself the next day. I am so glad that stupid phone didn't go of _at all _Friday. Well, it did go off, but he didn't answer. It made me feel worthy, and special. And made me sweet how I was overreacting and that I would be the one that would be sorry and I saw how stupid I would've been for taking my life and how idiotic I was to even think of it. I have a temper, and I need to learn to control it so something doesn't get this out of hand again. I don't ever want to be at that stage in life again where I feel as if there's no way out of what is facing me. Thank you, my story has finished." She smiled a weak smile and laughed a small chuckle at her word choice at the end of the sentence.

"Nice job, Sugar, and if you ever need anything, you have all of us that would be more than happy to help you." Mr. Shue said.

"Mr. Shue, can I tell my suicide tale?" Artie asked softly.

"Of course."

A/N Ok, so this chapter I thought about for a while, since we don't really know that much about her character. What did you think of this chapter?


	11. Chapter 11

Artie

"You all probably know the beginning of this story. I'm the nerdy crippled guy. But there's more, much more to it than that. This is a story I've never voiced to _anyone _so please, go easy on me if I start to cry, and hear me through, because I know it'll probably be rather difficult to hear once I get going." Everyone nodded, a silent agreement between them and Artie not to laugh, make snide remarks during his story, and to listen long enough to hear him out.

"Ok, carry on please, Artie." Tina said, feeling an odd emotion come over her. It wasn't love or a crush. But it was concern. Artie was her ex; she'd left him for being inconsiderate. But no matter what, she'd always care about him.

"I guess you could say my story begins when I was 8. I was a very energetic little guy, always running around, playing sports with my dad and brother. I wanted to go into the NBA or NFL or something like that, maybe even the Olympics for track, when I was grown. But then, one fateful day, my life turned upside down and life to me, would never be the same again. I believe it was a Saturday night in the summertime. It was after dark, I remember. Mom and I had been to the grocery store to get some stuff for the following week, and Sunday dinner. We were on our way home, it was pitch black, the night air was cold and a sense of hatred was in it, It was raining incredibly hard out, almost sleeting, and Mom was having a hard time seeing through it all, I kept my mouth shut. Though I was young, I knew that Mom needed silence; it would be easier for her to concentrate. Then, everything flashed before me. I saw the headlights of an oncoming car, headed straight for us, I felt the terrible crash on my side of the car, I heard Mom shriek horribly, and then I just blacked out."

"Oh my Goodness!" Rachel exclaimed. Tina frowned, he had told her this story when they were dating, and it hurt for her to hear it again. He just kept talking, not pauses to get sidetracked by anyone's comments.

"Then next thing I know, like Rory, I woke up in a hospital. My mom was sitting at my hospital bedside, reading a magazine. Dad and Andy, my older brother who was 10 at the time, were seated in the window seat. I heard Dad's gruff voice trying to comfort Mom." At this point I was regaining consciousness. Of course, being so young, I had no idea of what was going on or what had happened to me. I later found out, from Mom, that we had been in a horrific car accident. Mom had walked away without a scratch, but me, we hit the other car on the passenger side and therefore, I was to have the most severe injury from the accident. The driver that hit us was drunk, and was arrested for intoxication after the police came." Tears were falling form his face now, and he struggled to keep talking in monotone. " Then Mom, she broke down crying, and Dad took over and spoke for her. He told me that the doctors and emergency crew did everything that they could, but there was nothing else they could do. He told me that I'd never walk, run, and play sports again. He told me that I'd have to find a new dream; because there was no way I'd ever get into the NFL, NBA, or the Olympics ever now. O was devastated, there is no way, under any circumstances a kid at 8 years old should ever be told his dreams are impossible. It screws you up. Everyone needs something to believe in, to keep them going. That was mine, and then in that moment it was crushed."

"I'm so sorry, Artie." Mr. Shue said, a slight tear in his eye.

"Its alright. When my dad told me I wouldn't ever walk again, I didn't really understand, I thought that it would be a few days while in the hospital. I'd been in a hospital before to get my tonsils out. They didn't let me walk for a few days; I thought this time would be the same. Then, when they said it was time for me to go home a few days later, I went to get out of bed. I couldn't! I screamed and started crying, I couldn't move my legs and I was petrified. Dad told me everything was going to be okay and go back to normal. I believed him, after all, he's my dad he knows everything. So I calmed down a little bit. Dad lifted me out of the hospital bed and sat me in the hospital wheelchair; they wheeled me out to Dad's car. Mom and Dad soothed me as we were going home, telling of how this was going to be rough, but we'd get through and everything would be fine. Andy reassured me, squeezing my hand the whole time."

"How long did it take you to… Realize…" Finn began to ask. '

"As soon as we got home, Dad got me out of the car and carried me into the house. Inside was my first chair. It was simple, and feasible, like this one." He said, hitting the wheel of his chair with his hand. "After a few days, I was able to comprehend that this was my life now, and it would never be able to be undone. I cried a lot those first few months. I was scared, and nervous, and wondered how I was going to get along in the world. Everyone I knew could walk, Mom, Dad, Andy other relatives, schoolmates, everyone. I was an odd one out. But I learned and got along. Within a few weeks I learned how to use and operate the chair, do day-to-day tasks in it, and become independent and self-sufficient, without relying on Mom or Dad to do everything for me. Yeah, I did become quieter, bookish, and kept to myself most of the time. But it wasn't really depression, it was just I learned that I liked to read, and think, and stay to myself more than I liked talking to other people."

"And you're still." Puck whispered,

"Yes I am still like that, because that's how I choose t be. I like it. Anyways, my elementary and intermediate, and early junior high years went by very uneventful. I was smart, made great grades, and quiet, with not many friends… Except Tina. Everything I am now, except I have a lot more friends with all of you guys." He smiled. "But when I hit 7th grade, everything went haywire. I started…Post depression. It had been 5 years since the accident; I'd learned to live life, as I was able to. But I guess I was jealous. While I saw all the other guys signing up for sports, flirting with girls, getting girlfriends, going places on the weekend, I was at home reading, or playing my guitar. Which is great, but not what I wanted to do at the time. Then one day…. My lower back it just hurt so badly, the pain was indescribable. I told my mom, and she immediately went to the doctor. He prescribed me medical morphine for a short time being. Its controversial, but the doctor said that it would help and as long as given under specific instructions by my mother, on specific dates and times, everything would be okay and I wouldn't get addicted. We trusted him, after all, he was a doctor and I'd been a patient of his since right after the accident." Artie wiped tears from his eyes, sniffled and continued. "Mom followed the doctor's orders precisely. But, while it made the pain subside, the depression also subsided. I wasn't so angry about my condition, or not being in sports, not having a girlfriend, ect, when I took the morphine. That was probably my ultimate downfall."

"What did you, Man?" Puck asked,

"Whenever, I didn't have it, I had TERRIBLE depression, very suicidal. And I decided, that since none of my dreams would ever come true, I'd never have many friends, I'd never have a girlfriend or a wife, never have kids, ect I decided what was the point in living. I had nothing to live for. My life was a waste of air. So I decided, I'd kill myself. It would be better for everyone, and though slow, I wouldn't notice. I'd OD on morphine. But, the amount Mom was giving me wouldn't do it, however, I knew a kid at school, and he sold it. He's gone now, but I was his number one buyer. I know it seems weird, this book-smart, crippled, nerd, a morphine addict, but that's what I was. An addict. I'd go to him everyday after school and buy some, where'd I get the money? I don't know. Sometimes it would come from my allowance; sometimes I'd steal it from Mom's purse or Dad's wallet. Other times, I'd take it from kids at school when they weren't paying attention and their loose money was easy to get to. Whatever I had to do, I'd do it for that sweet, sweet drug. Of course, I felt then that I needed it. But it was always in the back of my mind that this time would be the last, and I'd get my wish. It didn't happen until December of 8th grade. I'd bought it, on the last day before Christmas break, and I'd used that night."

"What happened to you?" Puck asked, rather shocked. Out of everyone in the club, Artie is the one they all least expected to ever turn to drugs, much less try to OD on them.

"I don't know. I went to bed in my bed, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in yet another hospital bed. IV's were hooked up in my arms and legs. A nurse was standing over me, I looked for Mom, Dad, or Andy, and none of them were there. I looked up at the nurse, a pretty woman. She had blonde hair and deep blue eyes. Where am I? What happened? I asked her." He gulped and wiped more tears from his hysteric face before continuing on, "She told me I was at the hospital, and the name of it. Then she told me that I'd OD'd on morphine. She, as well as everybody else suspected that Mom had just given me too much. They still think that's why I did today. I, and you guys now, are the only people that know I was trying to OD and I was buying morphine at the school behind Mom and Dad's backs. At first, I was a little disappointed that my plan didn't work like I thought it would. But when the nurse left and Mom, Dad, and Andy came in, oh my God. Mom was crying and kneeled at the bedside, begging me for forgiveness and blaming herself. She was sobbing about how she never could've lived with herself if she had to go on know that she'd killed her son. I wanted to tell her the truth, but wasn't brave enough to, and still I'm not. Then my dad, a man that never breaks, had an ocean of tears falling from his face. He told me how scared he was and that he would've felt terrible and didn't know how he'd live without seeing." He sniffed " Without having me everyday. I was his youngest son, and though I had a deep depression and darkness inside of me, I brought a smile and a happy vibe to wherever I went. Then Andy, he was 16 then, came in crying. He told me he'd go crazy without his baby brother and how blessed our family is that I was saved from what could've very well been my fatality. They all told me how much they loved me and how much I meant to them, and that day, I realized that whether I could walk or not, I had to stay on Earth. Whether I realized it or not, there were people who loved me and who needed me. And now, looking back I realize how stupid of an idea it was, and wish that I could take all that hidden morphine use back. When people talk about me they use great words and terms that apply to a star child, and when I'm being praised all I can think about is not Artie Abrams: Star student, but rather Artie Abrams: Drug Addict. I wish that thought could be erased from my mind, but no matter how hard I try it can't be. Nothing brings more disgrace to yourself and your family than taking you own life. And no matter how rough a situation you're in, you'll get through. We were all put on Earth for a reason and we need to learn, become, and fulfill that reason, because each of us is unique and special in our own way." He nodded, wiped tears from his eyes again, and simply said "Thank you." The room was silent, everyone was shocked. Artie? A drug addict? Never. It was so unfathomably difficult for them all to believe.

"Are… Are you clean now?" Rachel struggled to ask,

"Yes and I'm never going back there again. I made that vow right then and I'll make it again now. Never again will I return to that Artie."

"Ok, good, but if you ever need anything, support, comfort, anything at all we're all here for you." Finn said, with his rare serious look.

"As am I, and I'm very sorry, Artie." said. "Anyone else?"

"Yes…" Everyone turned to look at the person whose voice they had heard. They couldn't believe it. The voice came from tough, hard as rock, badass, Puck. What made it even more difficult to believe it was him, he was crying. He never cried. He was Noah Puckerman, professional badass. Everyone eagerly awaited his story.

A/N Ok, this chapter was fun to write, as odd as that may sound. However, I'm not so sure how it is as a reader. Review and let me know, please. I am really trying to put chapters up relatively quickly, since we only have 5 days until Glee comes back! I'm going to try to finish this story with a bang. Hope you're enjoying this story, review and let me know, and is there anything you want to be shown more of, less of whatever it may be, let me know.


	12. Chapter 12

Puck

"I know I act real tough and like I'm a badass. I act like I don't have any feelings and nothing people say about me will ever hurt me in the least bit. But it's all an act. That's all. You guys know me better than anyone else. And that's not saying too much. You see me in the simplest terms, a JD, a delinquent. Just like the rest of the school, the only difference between you guys and them is that you're not afraid of me like they are. But still, you don't know the real me, you know who I act like I am for school. Underneath my rough exterior of a coat that I put on, I really am a soft, feeling, emotional, sweet, somewhat romantic, protective, family guy. If Quinn were here, she'd be able to tell you that."

"Well, how about you tell us yourself" Santana screeched.

"I will. Now, as a child, it was a normality that my dad was going to be gone. He was continuously in jail for everything in the book. Setting fire, check, drug abuse, check, driving under the influence, check, manslaughter, check. But the fact that he was out doing all that shit, it didn't matter to me. He was my dad, and nothing would ever change that. And no matter what, I love him. Even though I think I've only actually seen him about 20 times in my life, I'd do anything for him."

"Just get on with it." Sugar commanded.

"Fine, so I've always had to be a dad figure. My dad was never home before his waste of human life died, and Mom…. She is just a druggie and an alcoholic! It's just a matter of time before she joins her good for nothing husband in the land of the dead. So I've always had to act as a dad to my littler sister. She is so sweet and pure, and beautiful. I'd risk my life for her; she's more like my daughter than my sister. I absolutely adore and love that little girl to bits. If anything ever happened to her, if she ever got pregnant young, or turned to substance abuse, I think I'd die. I've done everything I can to protect her and shelter her from danger, but the two things that I'm scared to death might occur that could ruin her life, I've done both. I got Quinn knocked up sophomore year, and look how badly it screwed her up. She's just now cleaning herself up and getting back to normal. The adoption, even though it was what is best for us and what is best for Beth, it screwed Quinn up. It messed with her head, and even though she's getting better, she'll never be the same person she was before I got her pregnant. I feel terrible, I ruined a young woman's life when it had just barley started. Even though it hasn't messed with my mind as much as it has Quinn's, I'll never forgive myself. Its all my fault she's never going to be as clean and stable as she was before. If some dick ever got _my _little sister pregnant at such a young age… I'd kill him!"

"Puck, lets not exaggerate." Rachel stated calmly,

"I'm not! I would, can be a mellow guy, believe it or not. But as you all know I can be a cruel, rude, jerk when I want to be, and if my sister got pregnant and the guy was just using her like I did Quinn, I'd kill him. Another thing that she better not _ever _get into is doing drugs and alcohol. I've seen what those do to people, from my dad, my mom, and my own personal experiences. They screw you up, they turn you into a person you don't know, recognize, or even remotely like, and the worst part about the whole thing is that that pepsin that you detest, loathe so much… It's yourself. You can _never _get away from that person because you're trapped in their body. You lose sight of who you are, and do things you wouldn't do if you were sober and thinking properly. All you want to do is stop and get clean and sober, take your life back, and get back in control, but the whole time, this drug, its bigger than you, and nothing you do can stop it from slowly destroying you, you life, and everything involving it. You cant be in public without being judged, you lose relationships with family and people who have been your friends forever, you lose lovers, and struggle to remain in a loving, healthy relationship with a person. When I got Quinn preggo, I was drunk…. I'd made her have a few drinks and had I, it wasn't love, it was just barley a crush, it was nothing really. But what came out of it, Beth, who is darling and sweet and beautiful and by no means a mistake, but what did Beth do, destroyed Quinn's life."

"Okay, enough about Quinn and Beth please." Finn practically screamed

"Fine, the point is I love my sister my sister is going to be the Puckerman legacy! She is going to be the one person in my family to make it! She's going to graduate high school, and go to college, become something good, like a doctor or a lawyer, graduate at the top of her class, make lots of money." He began to cry a little harder, "Then she'll meet a good guy and fall in love, get engaged to him, have a beautiful wedding and get married to him, then they'll have beautiful babies that will follow in their parents footsteps, she's going to change the family name. She's not going to be a Lima loser like the rest of our family."

"Ok, I see how touching this is and all… But can I ask how it relates to the conversation that we were talking about?" Tina asked meekly,

"Because, I want to watch her grow up, and become this great person that she's going to be. And its scary to think that I almost lost that chance, and even scarier to think that I was the one who was going to take that away from myself."

"Give us the story." Mike rolled his eyes,

"I'd always struggled with my dad and mom and having to take care of my sister, but I already spoke of that. However one thing I never expected to be in high school, a dad myself. When Quinn got pregnant, I was scared, shocked, neither of us had any means to take care of a baby or the expenses that come with one. That was the first time I actually _really _contemplated it, but after spending time with her, and really getting to know her as a person instead of just a sex partner, I think I fell for her. I couldn't desert her, not in the time she needed a shoulder and support. But then I went to juvie and she and Sam started dating. I lost Quinn. And juvie, it taught me something about life and myself. It taught me there's always going to be someone bigger, badder, scarier, and more dangerous than yourself, an d about myself, it taught me that I wasn't as bad as I thought. It taught me that I was going to be a good person in life; at that point I was determined to get on the right track of life, I may not be the smartest person in the world, but I know how to love, and whether or not people think so, I know how to be a good lover and a good dad. I _am _going to have a family some day, and Quinn, I'd love if she'd be my wife, but that's going into a whole other story. Anyways, I have these dreams, and hopes, and ambitions, yet one day I almost took it all… It was when I was in juvie. These guys, they had threatened to kill me, and they would have too! They had already nearly killed me through beatings, and I was scared, and I thought I'd never get out of that place. My mom had told me I was unfit to take care of my sister, as if that cunt is anymore fit. The minimum time I'd be in was 6 months and Mom told me I wasn't welcomed back in the house. I didn't know what to do, so one night, while the other delinquents were asleep; our guard had fallen asleep too. I stole the guard's gun, he carried one just in case one of us got a bit too rowdy and out of control. I stood in a corner, I put it directly on my heart, and was just about to pull the trigger, when suddenly I felt a vibration, and it wasn't little Puckerman in my pants either! It was a phone in my pocket. I know what you're all thinking _people can't have phones in juvie. _That's true, you're not supposed to, but I had snuck one in. I pulled it out quickly, it was a text message from Hannah, my sister, and it said _Hey Noah, goodnight. Just wanted to let you know I miss you and cannot wait until you come home, Mom is scaring me, I'll be alright but I really wish you were here. But before we know it you'll be out. I love you – Hannah Brielle Puckerman. _I started to cry, I love her so much, and I could never leave her. She said it right there, she loved me, she needed me, our own mother was terrifying her."

"Aw, Puck that's so sweet." Rachel said, seeing Puck in a new way.

"I took that gun and set it on the floor, if I took my life, it wouldn't affect anyone…. Except Hannah, who needed me. She didn't care that I had gotten myself in trouble, and that I was a badass and everyone in school was scared of me. She knew me as her brother, Noah, sweet loving, protective, pushover. I had to live for her, and the rest of my life when all hope seems lost; I know I'll think of that moment right then. Because no matter how old she gets, or where our lives take us, she'll always be my little sweet sister and I'll always be the older brother that must protect her… Whether she likes it or not." He smiled. "Man, I love her."

"That is really sweet, Puck." Mr. Shue said, " Its great that you have someone you care about so much in your life. You'll be amazed how she will continue to always save you from your worst enemy, yourself."

"My hamster was like that. And so was my sister." Brittany said. Everyone looked at her, dazed, and confused.

"What?" Mr. Shue asked,

"May I?"

"What?"

"Tell my story…."

"Um… Yeah… Proceed." They were all kind of curious at this. Brittany was so sweet, so innocent; she was sheltered from the world's evil. How could this ever happen to her?

A/N Ok, so I really struggled with this chapter, I honestly didn't even have anything planned for this one, when people say "It wrote itself" Nothing I've ever wrote has been more like that than this chapter. I'm not so sure how it turned out either. Review and let me know, because this chapter is kind of making me nervous. Thanks


	13. Chapter 13

Brittany

"My hamster, his name was Hammy. I'd had him since I was 3. I was 15 at the time… I think. San?"

"Yes, Brit, you were 15 when he died." Santana assured her.

"Ok… Well, Hammy, San, and my older sister Tiffany were my best friends. Tiff was 3 years older than me, so she'd just turned 18 at the time. I guess San was busy that weekend or something, because she wasn't over…. And usually she is." Everyone just sat there and listened…they weren't 100% sure where this was going, but it was coming form Brit so, they thought, it was bound to be interesting. " So Tiff, Hammy, Lord Tubington, and I were on the couch… Watching Tuck Everlasting. It was my favorite movie since I was little… They stole my spring of youth."

"Stay on topic, Brit." Santana said calmly.

"Sorry." Brittany sounded like her usual self, confused, and like she was out of it. " Anyway we were watching that and suddenly Tiff just got up and left, telling me she'd be back in a minute. The movie finished and that was about… Uh… San… How long is the movie… From beginning to end?

"About 95 minutes…"

"OK…. Then I don't know she left about 20 minutes in… And didn't return. When the movie ended, I went up to her room, to find her and ask why she didn't watch it with us. I went upstairs and opened her door and… I saw her… But she had a rope tied around her neck and was hanging from the rod in her closet, the closet door open. I went over and started talking to her… But she didn't answer me. I couldn't understand why. I started crying and ran downstairs… I didn't understand why she was so mad at me. Mom and Dad weren't home, and I have to admit I was scared, but when I came back downstairs…. Hammy… He wasn't well. He was lifeless in his little hamster, taking a well-needed nap I thought. I kept trying to wake him, but he wouldn't wake. I cried… Why were two of my best friends hating me? I called San and she came over immediately. Then I she helped me call Mom and Dad. They asked what was wrong and I told them that Tiff and I were watching a movie, and she left early on and when I went upstairs to find her she had a necklace of rope around her neck…. I told them that I thought she needed help putting it on… But she wouldn't answer when I asked…. Mom was the one on the phone. She started crying right after she told me they'd be right home I didn't understand anything. Thankfully, I had San there. She just hugged me and told me everything would be alright. Then gave me a sweet lady kiss on my cheek. I knew that San, as well as my parents knew something that I didn't. But I acted like I understood it all perfectly, to fit in with them. When Mom and Dad got home, San had to leave as soon as they walked through the door. They rushed up to Tiff's room, didn't even acknowledge me. When they came downstairs Mom was crying hysterically and Dad was carrying Tiff, she was mad at them too, she refused to speak." Santana stroked Brittany's arm soothingly, " About… Uh.."

"A couple of days." Santana pushed, helping Brit out.

"Yea… A couple of days later we had a service for Tiff… Santana told me the truth about what had happened to Tiff and explained to me what death was. MY heart was shattered… How could all of us have to meet this horrible thing one day…. And how could my sweet, beautiful sister want to meet it so bad that she'd leave us… Her family, that loved and still does even though she's gone love her. Though the realization hurt, there's no one else I'd rather have explain it to me than San. She was calm, sweet, penitent, and loving when she told me. At the service, she held me tight, all the while my parents were embraced crying, and I was wishing that someway Tiff would've the spring of eternal life… And that someday we all would. But it didn't matter, because I know that eternal life isn't real, and that people make it up for something to believe in because they are scared of death."

"Well said, Brit." Santana said. Brit squeezed her hand.

" When we got home that day… San explained to me that Hammy had died as well… We had a mini service that night in the backyard for him."

"Ok… Brittany… Did you actually do anything.."

"YES! San had gone to take a shower that night, and I was curious how Tiff's necklace, which was still in her room where she'd left it, actually worked. So I went in her room and put it around my neck. I kept pulling it tighter and tighter… It was confusing so I kept at it. I started choking… But figured that was what was supposed to happen. The next thing I knew, I was struggling to breathe, and then San walked down the hallway. She must've heard me, because she ran into Tiff's room in just a towel. I remember the look on her face, just sheer fright. _BRIT! _I remember her screaming, as she ran over to me and hastily undid the rope around my neck. _What in the world do you think you're doing, Brit! _Her eyes, they looked so hurt, she was about to cry. Her tone of voice, so serious, so scary… not the Santana that I knew and loved. _I'm sorry I wanted to see how Tiff's necklace went on. _I said, crying, I though San was mad at me too. I remember, she just wrapped me up in her arms and hugged me. Then very seriously she looked me in the eyes and said. _Don't ever do that again! That necklace is not good. It's dangerous… Stay away from it at all costs. Do you understand me, Brittany Suzanne Pierce? _I shook my head yes, _Good _she said, putting an arm around, the other keeping her towel up, and showing me out of Tiff's room and into my room." She stopped, long and dramatically.

"Is that it?" Artie asked. Brittany shook her head yes,

"Mhm."

"Very nice" Mr. Shue said, though Brit's story had been very different from all the others and that she had spoken monotone through the whole thing, it still showed the students the reality of suicide in a more child-like, easier to understand manner.

A/N Ok, so this chapter was kind of difficult to write. I was trying to keep it serious, because this topic is a very serious and delicate topic, but I was also trying to incorporate some of Brittanyism (New word Haha). Going back over and reading it, I'm not sure if I succeeded in keeping it as serious as I'd liked. I was trying to embed a message, not directly stated, as well as trying to get into Brit's POV (Not easy for me... Honestly, Brit's my least favorite character.) Either Blaine or Santana will be next, not sure which. Please let me know what you thought of this chapter, because I'm feeling very uncertain posting this chapter on here. Thanks


	14. Chapter 14

Blaine

"Mr. Schuster?" Blaine asked.

"Yes, Blaine?"

"May I go? Like tell mine." Mr. Shue nodded,

"Go ahead."

"Blaine!" Kurt exclaimed in utter terror, "Oh, no Darling, you couldn't have!" Blaine took Kurt's hand off his shoulder and placed it gently on his lap, squeezing it firmly. In a soothing, easy-going voice, he said,

"Yes, Kurt. Like you said, its human nature. I'm only human. Nothing more,"

"Nothing more? Yes you are, Blaine! You're _my _amazing, sweet, wonderful, dear, handsome, beautiful inside and out, boyfriend!"  
>"In the eyes of the world I'm just another-"<p>

"Screw the world, all that matters is us!" Everyone just watched as these two went back in forth, in a serious, but somewhat joking manner. They were adorable, and when they entered a room together, you could just see the love radiating off them. Blaine, anxious to just start his story and get it, a painful part of his past over with, ended the episode by simply saying,

"Yes, all that matters is us, and if the world doesn't agree, then who cares. However, this is before I met you… Way before I met you. Had I known you, I'd never have even thought about it." He leaned over and pecked Kurt on the cheek. "I love you."

"I love you too,"

" Ok… Can we just get to the story please?" Finn more so commanded than asked. Blaine and Kurt glared at him, but said nothing. Blaine then began to tell his story.

"This pain had been burning in me since before I met any of you, even Kurt. I'm the youngest in the family, my brother, Cooper, is 3 years older than me. I was always the baby, the spoiled one, and the angel. Cooper was always the one that had to work for attention, was the responsible one, had to do everything. But, we all had a great relationship as a family. Dad, Cooper, and I would play sports every weekend. Mom and I would always bake, and the four of us would go for long car rides with the radio on. But then Cooper really got into acting and theater. That's when out relationship as a whole family started to falter. He was about 10 at the time. He landed the lead in every school play, or musical, I was elated for him. I knew that I'd be doing the same thing one day, and would need some help. However, Mom and Dad didn't share my enthusiasm. They began to kind of shun Cooper from the family. They'd always say that he was _a damn queer. _I remember how Coop would always have tears in his eyes after that. It had hurt me when they said it about him, I could only imagine how Coop felt. Mom and Dad both said, and taught us long before that they wouldn't be able to accept it if one of their boys were gay. But Cooper wasn't, and Mom and Dad soon found that out. Once he hit 15 he constantly was bringing girls home and getting girls to like him. He always had girlfriends. Once Mom and Dad realized that acting was simply a hobby, and lost that stereotype of only gay guys were actors, everything went back to normal…. For them."

"What about you?" Tina asked, curiously. Blaine shook his head slightly, gritting his teeth.

"Well that's when things got really awkward for me. I was somewhere around twelve at that time, and was glad that Coop, Mom, and Dad had gotten the details straight so we could all stop fighting and be a real, loving, accepting of each other family again. But at the same time this was going on, I was realizing who I was too. I knew from the very first time it crossed my mind that I was gay. In movies, when my friends would talk about how gorgeous or hot the lead girl was… I'd stay quiet while they talked, or I'd talk about the girl like I would given the chance to talk about the guy. It was the same thing at school. Guys would be getting crushes on girls and "going out" with them. I had a few girls that talked to me, maybe even had a crush on me, but the feeling wasn't mutual. There was only one person in the whole school I wanted, Bryce. He was my best friend, and had been since kindergarten or 1st grade. I didn't want a girl, and I knew I never would. But, I still wasn't completely ready to be the black sheep of our family yet. Then I, too, got into acting decently, and truly into singing. I left the world when I sang, and I still do. It set my mind, and me free."

"How long did you keep it up?" Kurt asked.

"Well, my family, after their judgment of Cooper being wrong, didn't care much at all. They simply had two sons who loved showbiz, it didn't mean anything."

"Well then how-" Rachel started, but was cut off by Blaine,

"However when my friends, especially Bryce, would come over, or I'd go to their house, I'd freak. How was my hair, my outfit, how'd I smell? Am I on my best behavior with my most civilized manners? What do they think of me? By some strange chance, did they feel the same way about me as I did them? It was a never-ending war of questions rushing through my head. Questions that so called "normal" early teen boys wouldn't have about their friends. I mean, I even started to have a bit of self-denial about it. I knew I was gay, but didn't wholly want to admit it to anybody, including myself. One day, I was staying with Bryce; I knew I couldn't stay closeted any longer. It was the end of 8th grade, and I knew who I was to become, but knew that I wouldn't become this person until I was honest with others and myself. I asked him if he'd ever had…. Feelings for a guy before. And if he'd ever fantasized about men or what other guy's lips tasted like, how it felt to be rocked in their arms. He just sat there staring, I remember, at first I thought he'd start calling me names and such and be scared of me. He wasn't though, he simply asked _Blaine, be honest, are you…Gay? _I was nervous, but knew this was the first step in becoming a man, accepting myself. I nodded and quietly whispered _yes. _Bryce nodded once, _Okay, thanks for telling me. _He said, I remember what a relief had been lifted off my shoulders."

"Then what?" Brit asked, it was astonishing, it sounded like she had actually paid attention and understood what Blaine was saying word for word. He smiled; glad he'd captured someone's attention.

" Later that night, Bryce pulled me aside and told me he was also gay. I couldn't believe it. I was overwhelmed with joy, love, and acceptance, everything I'd been dreaming of. He asked me out, and I said yes immediately. We said we'd take it _really _slow. But I didn't care; with this support from Bryce anything was possible. I'd come out from that cramped, disgusting little closet I'd been hiding in for so long. And what had come out of it? I got my best friend to admit he liked me the way I liked him, there had never been such a great feeling in the entire world… It was then that I decided that however difficult this was going to be; I needed to come out to more people…. Not everyone just the people who mattered. Mom, Dad, and Cooper." Blaine took a breath, eyes beginning to water as memories of a younger, less self-confident, frightened, littler version of himself came into his mind.

"Are you okay?" Kurt asked, he sensed something deeper, more emotional and dark was about to come from Blaine's mouth.

"I'll be fine." He said bitterly, surprising everyone, Kurt and Blaine were always so full of love and devotion and everything that makes the perfect couple so perfect, the never spoke to each other in that manner… Never. " I gathered Mom, Dad, and Coop and had them take a seat on the couch in our living room. We did this very rarely, only when we had something _very very _important to discuss. They were all surprised, too, that I the youngest had called a family meeting, as well as how I had prefaced at the dinner table about how I was going to call a family meeting because of something that I needed to let them know about, as it would affect the rest of my life."

"What was their reacting to that?" Mercedes asked. Blaine shrugged his shoulders, more hate overcoming him, he spoke quickly hastily and resentfully with every word.

"They laughed and said fine. Then after dinner they we all met out in the living room, the three of them on the sofa, and I standing elegantly in front of them. I remember each word of the conversation perfectly. _What is it son… Are you going to be a big singer when you grow up? Lord knows you sure have the looks for it. _ That's how it started, and I was heated right there. Was that really what he thought? I mean, sure, I'd love to be famous someday, but it didn't have the slightest notion of what I was going to talk about. And even if it was, was that what Dad thought? Did I really only have the looks, and not the talent? I've always said this since that moment, if I ever made it to the top I'd want it to be for my talent, something I can give back to people, not for my looks. It's superficial and doesn't really have as much of the successful feeling that a talent would have."

"That's a very well spoke pep talk, Blaine, but please stay on topic." Finn stated, Blaine glared at Finn, even thought they'd worked though most of their problems they still loathed each other.

"Anyway, I was furious. How dare he interrupt me when I was about to say such life-altering thing fro my family. I kept my anger bottled up though, a thing I'd learned to do a lot, and laughed with my family. Then I looked all of them in the eye and as solemnly and seriously as I possibly could say said _I'm just going to make this to the point. Mom, Dad, Cooper…I'm gay. _At first they all just sat there not saying a word, gawking at me. _You've got to be kidding! That's a good one son. _Dad said getting up and beginning to walk out the door, but I stopped him. _DAD! STOP! I'M NOT JOKING! I'm… Gay. _They all understood, once they saw the waterworks beginning in the corner if my eyes, that I was dead serious and had never been more serious about anything in my entire life." Everyone just kept looking at him; they were all intrigued by Blaine's story now. " _I don't know what to say. _Dad said. _Tell me you love me, and that's its okay. _I begged, now visibly crying, almost sobbing. Dad turned, looked at me, and shook his head. _I cant. _He said, and just left the room. Mom rushed to her feet and hurried out after him. _Mom? _I begged, she stopped, turned to look at me and just shook her head in dismay, _I'm sorry Blaine. _Then she left, I feel to my knees, weeping. I began to pray, pray that somehow they'd find it in their hearts to love the youngest son again. Suddenly, I felt a firm, rough, loving hand on my shoulder, I looked up. It was Cooper. _I'm proud of you, little brother. It must've been really rough for you. _He embraced me in a tight hug, and wouldn't let me go. _You're not mad_ I asked. _Mad? Of course not! You're my brother, I love you. Nothing you ever say, do, or are will ever make me love you any less." _Blaine began to cry rougher now, Kurt wrapped a loving arm around him, the same way Blaine had him earlier.

"What happened next?" Rachel asked, just a tad shy of being unaware of how awkward se just made him feel.

"Well, nothing right after. I barricaded up in my room all night, with only the occasional visit from Cooper telling me things would be alright and that he'd be there for me no matter what. Late that night, however, Mom called me downstairs in a very stern manner. It didn't even sound like her. Normally she was so sweet, nice, meek, and innocent. This sounded mean, degrading, nasty, and full of shame. I drug myself out of bed and mopped down the stairs, nervous, shaking, and scared. _Yes Mom? _I asked, standing in the doorway or the living room. _Sit down. _Dad, standing at her side, arm looped into her's, said. I looked for Cooper and saw him in the back corner of the room. His eyes were staring directly into mine, as if he were trying to help me, without words. I smiled slightly at him, but focused my gaze back on Mom and Dad right after that second of a smile. _Blaine, as you know, your mother and I do not approve of that…Lifestyle. _He began, _Dad, I can't help who I am. _I pleaded _We do not care, and we're awfully sorry to you, but you're no longer welcomed under this roof after this school year._ I couldn't believe it, they'd threatened, sure, but… They were really going to kick me out of their house. _Mom! _ I exclaimed. She just looked at me. _I'm sorry; this is what's going to be best for you. We're taking you out of public schooling and at in the middle of June you will be moving into a dormitory at Dalton Academy. It's a wonderful school, the kids are nice, and they provide housing. Which is something we can no longer do for you."_

_ "_No way! They couldn't!" Kurt exclaimed, hurt, insulted, now more than ever he was thankful that his dad was fine with it. That he loved him regardless of whatever he was, and that his dad wasn't one of those homophobic people like Blaine's mom and dad were.

"Yes. I was outraged. It was June 1st… School got out the 7th. And I'd be moving to Dalton the 10th. I remember, I tried to take it like a man. _Fine. _I said, _but do one thing for me first, look me in the eye and say that you love me. Both of you._ Both of them just shook their heads… they couldn't say it, they were so ashamed of me that they couldn't tell me that they loved me anymore."  
>"I'm so sorry!" Kurt exclaimed, hugging him, crying on his shoulder. Blaine patted Kurt's head.<p>

"Its fine now. But while everything seemed to be going terrible at home, school was a living nightmare. Since I'd come out to Bryce about a 2 months prior, something leaked because soon everyone knew. I constantly got called names: queer, fagot, fag, people made jokes about butt sex in front of me all the time. Guys would punch and beat me in the locker room. Everyday I'd cry alone in the bathroom, and clean my wounds in the office, obviously I wouldn't tell my parents. I soon took up boxing, though. It was a great way to take out anger and stress. If I was hurt or angered by someone I'd go practice boxing, and I'd be fine. But through it all, school, the emotional pain, Mom and Dad, I looked forward to that one thing… The dance at the end of the year. Bryce and I would have that one dance with each other and have that fairytale moment." All members nodded, they all understood what that felt like, and how strong of a yearn it was to have that special moment. "But then it was the 6th of June. The day of the dance. Mom and Dad had quit taking me to school, so I rode the bus, still getting made fun of everyday, but this day didn't matter. Because after 7 long vile hours of school, the dance would start. And all that would matter would be Bryce and me. _Ring… _The school day was done; I went to meet Bryce in the bathroom, where we had planned to meet. He was there alright, with another group of boys. As soon as I walked in a bucket of like, I don't even know what, fell on me. It was thick, like lard, and smelled of soiled milk. I shook it off me, they were all laughing, as I stood there, drenched. _Bryce. _I said _How could you? _I remember his words, they burnt like acid in my mind, and even as I say them today they burn _You're a figgen fag Blaine. What do you think I was going to do? Shower you in roses? _I just stood there whimpering, _But. You said you were gay too. _He laughed, _Just so I could get you to do this. I wouldn't be caught dead romantically involved with a dude! _He and they other boys all snickered, punched me on their way put the door and left the building. I should've told someone, but I was scared and hurt. My life had just crumbled in my eyes. I ran home crying, of course Mom and Dad didn't care, why would they like Bryce said, their prodigy of a son is a friggen fag! I ran up to my room, well rather Cooper's room, rummaged through his closet and found his rifle. Yea, at 15 he was too young to legally own a gun. But Dad had bought each of us boys one a few years back, just in case anything should happen in a case where we'd need to use it. But I had told him I was scared to have mine in my room so Dad kept mine. I decided to get this done and over with before Cooper came home from wherever he was." A few faint sniffles and low whispered flashed around the auditorium. Blaine slapped his hand on the stage floor in rage, still almost screaming indignantly he continued "There wasn't one damn person on this planet that cared whether I was alive or dead! I took that rifle, went over to Cooper's window, looking out at the repulsive world! _I'll show you. All of you! _I whispered as I loaded the gun with ammo. _You all will regret the way you treated me, Blaine Nicholas Anderson! _I stood there, pulled the trigger back, tears still streaming down my face; I was so ready to end it all. What did I have? My family hated me, my best friend for life and crush had deserted me, my life just felt so empty, like I was just living but nothing was worthwhile. I put the trigger against my chest, and just as I was about to let it go, the door opened. I panicked in my mind but didn't move or do a thing, except turn my head slightly to the side to see who it was. It was Cooper. His eyes were glass, his face a rock, full of fright, His mouth hung open, _What in the world do you think you're doing Blaine! Put that down! Damn! _He rushed over to me, took the gun from my hand, unloaded it, put it back in the closet, grabbed my hand and made me sit down on the bed. He took my face in his hands; staring into my soul, _Tell me NOW! _I started to bawl even harder, I told him everything. About the emotional stress I'd had, the school bullying, about Bryce lying and killing my internally. About how Mom and Dad had given me wounds that will never be haled and that I had no other option because I was a waste of life that no one wanted. Once again, he just hugged me, then looked me in the eyes again and said, _Blaine, you are my brother. I love you. And whether Mom and Dad say so or not they love you. They just don't know how to deal with it. You know them, 100% homophobes. And yeah, your life is going to change dramatically with moving to Dalton and living on your own in a dorm at 13. But it's for the best. And no matter what happens, or wherever you are in life, I'll always be with you. Inside. And if you feel you need me a little more, pick up the phone, visit me, whatever. I don't care what color you are, what you look like, if you're gay, straight, bi, whatever, I love you, Blaine. You're my brother and nothing will ever change that or my feeling for you. You understand? _I shook my head yes and hugged him back. It felt great to know that while my life would be full of mysteries and changes, one thing would never change. Our brotherhood.When I transferred to Dalton, I asked again _Mom, Dad tell me you love me. _Dad said that neither he nor mom would ever be able to say that again, but Cooper, 16, then. He helped me move in, wrote letters, talked to me on the phone every night, ect. He made me feel loved. And Dalton was great, I made friends, learned, learned about myself, and eventually met they guy I'm sure I'll be with for the rest of my life, Kurt." He kissed his cheek again. "I'm very lucky to have my brother in my life and cannot wait until the next time I see him, also to be able to keep my room at Dalton with a buddy, and mostly to have Kurt as mine. I cannot imagine a better life for me and would not trade anything in my past, because it would possibly mean that I wouldn't be here today with all of you. And its bizarre to think that I almost took this million dollar life from myself because of a heat of the moment anger I felt at everyone and thing. I'm glad Coop stepped in and saved me, because I love you all so much, and can't imagine never getting the chance to know any of you." Blaine smiled, wiped a few trembling tears from his face, and squeezed Kurt tight. Most everyone in the room was crying by this time.

"Thank you, Blaine, that was very heart wrenching." Mr. Shue said. Trying to stay calm and not break down himself, "Who hasn't gone yet that would like to?" Everyone looked around the room, there was only one person left. Santana. "Santana?" Mr. Shue said.

"Look, I have a story, yes, but it doesn't mean I want to just open right up and tell everyone here my whole life story! I'm not going to go!"

"Come on, Santana, everyone else has." Finn prodded.

"NO!"

"I did it, San. It'll be okay." Brittany whispered somewhat loudly. This made Santana stop and think. Brittany, sweet, innocent, bubbly, air-brained, most amazing wonderful girlfriend had gone and told something that was a major part of her life. She may not have said it the same way everyone else had, but she'd done it. Santana smiled, sat straight up and said,

"Ok, I'll tell you all. Because Brittany did and she deserves the same treatment, she opened up a terrible part of her life to all of you, and what kind of girlfriend would I be if I let her do that, mock all of you, and not say anything myself. I'd be a coward and a phony. So here it goes."

A/N This chapter was by far my favorite to write! Blaine and Kurt are my favorite characters, and it kind of upsets me how the show hasn't said much of anything about Blaine's background. So I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Please review and let me know what you thought of it. I did promise that all of these would be done by tomorrow, April 10th. However, I am not going to be able to write Santana's tonight and I'll only be able to get a start on it tomorrow. I will guess it'll be up on the 11th or 12th. Thanks. Reviews of any kind appreciated, and it would be great if you'd say what you thought of this chapter. Thanks.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N Sorry this chapter has been so delayed. I've had a lot going on lately and haven't had time to write. Also… This chapter has a dark theme to it, rape, and murder so strongly rated T.

Santana

"I'm a bitch. You all know that and so do I. However, even the bitchiest of bitches have feelings, can break, fall apart, fall in love, and be shattered and destroyed by a love that is not being reciprocated, I've been though a lot in my 18 years, way more than what I should have, or what anyone should for that matter. I guess you could say it started way back when I was a little bitch at like 5 years old. My mom and dad, what were they? Nothing, Dad was street fighter, for fun, most of the time, the other half he was usually running from the law or in prison. Mom and me, we'd go nights without him, wondering if he was dead or alive. Mom herself was nothing, a constant drug abuser that couldn't hold down a job if her life depended on it. At 8 I moved out of my house with Mom and occasionally Dad, to move in with my grandmother. I loved my grandmother more than anything or anyone. Until I met Brit, but that's for later. Grandma, **abuela**, was the strongest, bravest, toughest, most inspirational lady I knew. She was spicy, and fun and unpredictable. She used to tell me that I was a younger version herself." "How so?" Brittany asked. "Well, before I moved in with her, Mom and Dad, always fighting. She said it was rough to put up with that, and it was. But there's something I've never told anyone." She paused. "What's that?" Finn asked concerned, though they'd only had a one-night fling, basically, he still cared about her at least a little bit. Next, the most shocking thing happened. She… Santana Lopez let a tear slide down her face. "I was abused. Violently, and sexually." The room fell silent. They all knew Santana had been through some tough crap in her life that had made her who she was. But none of them ever expected her to have something that dark in her past. What they had expected was a hard home life and difficulties of being a closeted lesbian from her. Never would any of them have ever expected sexual abuse to come from anyone in this room's past. "Santana…Um, would you like to stop and go back to class? Or home? This topic must be a horribly difficult one for you." Mr. Shue said, trying to seem teacher-like. Even he was having a difficult time keeping his composure after that bombshell fell. "Thank, Mr. Shue. But I've started; they've all done it. I have to finished it, if not for anyone else then for Brit." A weak smile emerged on her face. Shue nodded. Santana thought a moment, there was so much she could talk about and she didn't quite know where to pick up after that. "Well, that's why I had to move in with my grandmother… To escape my dad who was sexually abusing me. Mother could've done something about it, could've left him and taken me with her, left this town never to look back again, but she didn't. And she never would. So I've lived with my grandmother since then, about 10 years. And I thought that living with her would make everything better, but even though I didn't have to live n fear of making love to my dad against my will anymore, there were some rough experiences. Needless to say, Abuela was poor, and had very little money. We lived in a house that was just big enough for the two of us to live comfortably. It was just the two of us, and Gramps died a few years before I was born. Life was rough, you know, Lima Heights is the roughest, toughest part of town. As I got older I began to get rougher and meaner too, I'd street fight with the boys, cut people , beat them up…. I bet you guys didn't know this… But I killed a guy." More gasps filled the room. This was so weird, Santana was rough on the exterior, but no one knew what she'd been through in her life. "Why? How?" Rachel stuttered. "We were in a gang fight. Well, he had a gang and I had me, myself, and I, well and Spitz." She gave that deceiving smile she'd given when Finn had outed, when she'd talked about how she turned into an evil twin named Spitz when she got angry. "Anyway, it was dusk, and we'd been dueling and feuding for days. This day in particular, I was hot and about to blow. Then this jackass comes along and starts being a major douche, I told him he'd better leave me alone or he'd pay. Well, what do you know? The moron stays around and… He grabbed me, this was sophomore year, and started undressing me…. Telling me how hot I was and how long he'd wanted to bang me. I started to freak… Yeah, I love sex as much as the next girl, but not with this dumbass… Not to mention this was rape… Something I'd had wayyyy too much of when I was younger. So I did what was natural to me, I screamed, and I fought back, biting, kicking, flailing, anything to get the bastard off of me. I finally broke from his terrible, strong, hate-filled grip… And I mean I didn't have any weapons or anything… But its not like I was going to try to kill him… I wouldn't kill him for no reason, I'm not that evil… I do have a heart. But then he attacked me again… Ripping at my skirt and thrusting his hands at my naked boobs. I did the only thing I could do at the moment, I reached into my hair and pulled out those razor blades I always keep in them." She reached into her hair and brought them out, the silver caught the light and shone brightly. " I just wanted him to go away. But he kept grabbing at me so… I led him on… I grabbed him tight and stuck my tongue in his mouth, laying him down on the ground. Then he kept fingering the hem of my skirt, and then finally tried to pull it off me. I couldn't take it I told him _Ryan… I will kill you. _I'd told him that long before… But now he was raping me and I was stopping it for good. I put the razors on his neck and started cutting him furiously. I know you think a razor blade cant do much, but it can. I kept threshing into his grimy flesh. Finally, when I knew he'd be dead soon I ran off, back to Granny's house." Finn looked shocked "Ryan Bare?" He asked… " He was a friend of mine from boy scouts." Santana nodded… "You should've told your ass of a friend top watch who he messes with. Well, it was all over the news, Abuela kept saying how she couldn't believe what the world was coming to. I didn't dare tell her I was the teen that had killed him. I became a murder at the age of 15. That's crazy… And yea the guy sucked… But I still live with the guilt of taking another human's life. I'm sure, that as long as I live I'll never lose that guilt." She breathed in and out slowly. "And then there was last year." They all knew at least slightly what this was about. Last year was when she really started coming to terms about her sexuality. "Is it going to.." Puck started "STFU!" Santana screamed.. "I would say shut the fuck up but I want to be nice!"

" Santana… Puck..." Mr. Shue warned.

"Sorry Mr. Shue." Santana said "Anyways… Last year I began to realize who I was… And that my life was going to dramatically change once I came out. I began recognizing my feeling for Brit… More than a friend. We'd played around before, totally, but I'd always try to hide it… More so to myself than anyone, I'd always say that it was "normal" And maybe it is… For girls to mess around with their best friend. But inside… I always felt something more… Even from the first day I met Brit in 4th grade. There's always been something about her… Something different that made her stand out from everybody else. Around the middle of last year I started to accept what I really felt.. Then I told Brit I was in love with her and at the time she was with Artie. She told me that she loved me too, but also loved him and wouldn't hurt him but if they ever broke up she'd be more than honored to be my girlfriend. But that broke my heart.. Why was I not better than Mr. McCripple pants over here?" She gestured to Artie.

"Hey…" He said softly, insulted.

"Sorry Crip." Santana replied, "Anyway she didn't return my love and that hurt me… I'd put up with so much physically and emotionally… Trying to make people believe that I was straight. Then I'd just come out of the closet and I was rejected. It sucked major balls. But then she and Artie broke up and, I feel like a bad person for saying this, but I was pleased. I figured she'd come crawling to me now… Romantically. But she dint. She still was just a friend that was a girl. Then this yeat, I knew it was my year. I knew I'd come out, and I knew I'd get the girl of my dreams this year. And, shit, I did both! Coming out was hard though… I mean really hard."

"Yeah.. We've already heard about all that 2.." Sugar started

"SHUT UP!" Kurt, Blaine, and Santana all screamed in unison.

" YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW DIFFICULT OF A TIME IN A PERSON'S LIFE THIS IS, SUGAR! IT IS VERY WELL A TME WHERE SUICIDE, NEGLECT, HATE, UNACCEPTANCE IS AROUND EVERY CORNER!" Kurt exploded

"Kurt!" Mr. Shue exclaimed. Kurt glanced at him, then glared at Sugar,

"I'm sorry Sugar." Mr. Shue nodded, as did she, glaring a little bit at him. Then he turned to Santana. "I'm sorry, Santana. Please continue."

"Well I decided to go downtown to Mom and Dad. I know I don't live with them but I still feel they should know about whom their daughter is. When I told them, they just said _okay _and nodded their heads. They were completely cool with it. Then I knew I'd have to tell Abuela. I was confident that she'd have the same reaction as Mom and Dad, so I did it that same night. I walked in the house rather hastily, and said in a harsh tone _Abuela we need to talk. _She walked out into the kitchen _Yes Tannie _She said strictly _Sit down, Granny, _She did and I took her hands and told her how much I loved and admired her and how great of a lady she was, blah, blah, blah. Then I told her that I was so close to her and that I needed her to know me better than anyone else on Earth. She nodded, said okay, and then I stammered and stuttered as I said…. _Abuela…. I… I like girls…. The way I should like. Boys… Granny I'm a lesbian. _She just sat there, at first I thought she was going to be like Mom and Dad and just be like… Okay. But she wasn't. Her words crushed me and made me feel absolutely terrible. She told me _Tana, there are some secrets that should remain secrets. _I couldn't believe, and still today, a few months later I can't believe it. Then I asked her _SO you're saying I shouldn't have told you? _Then she said _Yes. _Then she told me that I could no longer live under her roof. I felt terrible, where would I go? I'd lived with her all my life and now, when I needed her most she was going to kick me out of her house?"  
>"I'm sorry San. I mean I knew but hearing you put it into words…. It makes it so much worse." Brittany said.<p>

"Its okay, Brit. Anyways, I was so distressed and emotionally screwed I couldn't take it. Late one night, while Abuela was sleeping I stole her car and snuck out. I drove like an insanely intoxicated mad lady at as high of a speed that I could. Then I reached Indian River. I had no idea how far I'd driven, but I knew what I was going to do. Indian River is deep and out of town a ways. Lets see, I was a semi-closeted lesbian, a murderer, a rape victim, and even though that was long ago, the emotional toll will never fully go away. At that moment I had absolutely no recollection of anything going on. Everything going on then, in my past, and my future looked beyond bleak. I slammed on the gas and put the pedal to the medal, going as fast as I could. It was late in the middle of the night and no one was out at that time of night. So, once I got close to the lake, I floored it, and drove straight into the lake. Once the car hit the water it started immediately started to flood and sink. The windows were rolled down, increasing the rate at which water was coming in. I knew at the Monet that this was how I wanted to die, if no one on Earth wanted me then why not go out in a way that no one would ever forget? Like Sam described, the water was filling up in my nose and my lungs felt heavy and like they were about to burst. My eyes were closed so I wouldn't have to see my slow and agonizing death. However, like Sam also said, I didn't want to die by anything but drowning. So when windows started to buckle under the water pressure I swam out of the car and stayed at the bottom of the lake for a while.

"How'd are you…" Finn started to say dumbly,

"Let me finish, Franken-blubber and you might hear me." She said spitefully, rolling her eyes a bit, "Anyways, I don't remember anything after that except for floating back to the top of the water. As I was down there I was thinking about Brittany. She needed me and if no one else, then she did. She was enough and all that mattered to me. I realized that she didn't quite understand her feelings an in my heart of hearts I knew that she'd be mine forever someday, I'd just have to be patient. Not dead…But, anyways, the next thing I remember is waking up in a hospital with a nurse above my head. I remember how confused I was, and asking her where I was and why I was there. I remember her answer, _You Santana Lopez? _She asked. I nodded, _Well, Santana a man was at the park picking up the litter last night. He saw your body floating atop the lake and called 911 immediately. The ambulance rushed to the park and got you out. They instantly started working on you. Basically, Miss Lopez, you died. _I remember the confusion going through my mind. Yeah I was supposed to die, not die and come back to life. _How… How am I alive? I asked. Well, the EMT's had to work very hard in the ambulance. They were about 98% sure there was no point in saving you, or even attempting to save you. However, you're so young_ She told me _And when you came into the hospital and I saw your body, I had to try. You're so young and have so much potential and it would kill me if I let such a young great life slip away without trying to save it/. So I protested to try saving you. I won because of my persistency. Now that you're awake, Miss, I feel like I've done my part in the world. I've saved a life. _I remember how shocked I was… She saved me. A perfect stranger. The way the nurse talked to me, it made me feel important and worth something and like I mattered to someone. I barley managed to smile and say thanks to her I was so touched. I asked her how long I'd be here and she didn't give me an exact time, but I didn't care, at least I was alive. And could see Brit again. She asked me for someone to call."

"You didn't have anyone." Tina said reluctantly, not wanting to hurt her feelings.'

"Oh, but I did. I had Brit. My family may not give a rip about me. But Brit did. I called her, and she was up at the hospital in ten minutes. I lived with Brit's family for a while after that, and last month Granny called. She asked me to move back in with her. I simply told her no. She couldn't accept me right after I told her, and how that thing had fallen into place, she wanted me. No. I was happy for once in this terrible thing called life, I was who I wanted to be, and my best friend forever and my dream girl was and is now my girlfriend. And now I know, no matter how bad things get there is no reason to end my life because there is someone out there who truly cares for me. And it's the same to all of you. Do not ever attempt to kill yourself. It doesn't just affect you, it affects family, friends, lovers, everyone in your life. And if you ever feel like no on cares about you, just remember this, you do. Because I love all of you here and if I ever read about any of you killing yourselves in the newspapers I will know that this meant absolutely nothing to you guys. I love you all and even though we cheat each other, steal each other's boyfriends and girlfriends, fight, yell, scream, we are a family and always will be. I have a special place in my heart for all of you and that spot will never fade." She smiled weakly, ending her story.

"Thank you, Santana." Mr. Shue said. "And that looks like its everyone." He said, looking around the room. "Is there anything anyone wants to share?" They all shook their heads. Had Mr. Shue not talked about his attempt the day before they would've asked him, but they didn't say anything, no one.

"Well, I think this was a great bonding experience and that we're a lot closer and more of a team now. This could help in not only competitions, but reality as well. Like Santana just said, we _are _a family. And we always will be." Kurt said, smiling, glad that he had basically set up this heart wrenching, bonding experience for the group by simply just telling a story about his life.

"Well if that's it, then you arte all dismissed back to class. I'll talk to al of you in glee after school. Have a great day." Mr. Shue said, as each student exited the auditorium one by one, all thinking about different stories, and staying close to their boyfriends or girlfriends as they made their way to their classes. Their family had grown stronger and formed another tightness that would never be able to be broken.

A/N The end! Oh my goodness, it pains me to write that. I've really enjoyed writing this story. It's been one of my favorites to write on here. Also, I am SO sorry I didn't publish this sooner, the Internets been messing up and the website wouldn't let me log in and I've been so busy lately. SO I deeply apologize for not being able to post sooner. Also, I had a friend read this over, and she told me that I have Santana's living arrangement wrong. So I apologize, and for story purposes, lets say that she did live with her Grandma. Thanks. Well, review and let me know what you thought of this chapter, the last! And, if you wouldn't mind, tell me which chapter you liked best and which you liked least so I can know what I'm doing right and what I need to work on. Thanks, and read some of my other works.


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